Magic Forums

Hello,
I am hoping for some input or assistance. All suggestions are welcome. I am going through through two separate but very difficult situations simultaneously. In addition, it?s not the usual ?hard time.? Dealing with one at a time would be serious enough. At the moment I have both to deal with at once. I work with candles often and can usually find peace in strengthening my protections. I can?t this time. Both issues have truly crossed a line and it angers me to no end. I can?t get past it. I can?t stop thinking about it. Most importantly, I can?t protect myself. When I attempt to meditate or start a candle circle, I can not keep a calm peaceful mind. I begin with anointing and lighting candles for peace, strength, and protection but my brain wanders off into why / what I am protecting myself from, then the anger works into my ritual. I stop as soon as I realize it. I don?t want to send out negative energy. I am in no way purposely trying to cast a revenge spell. I?m afraid that is actually what will happen if I don?t stop when the negative thoughts and anger set in during a candle session. In the meantime, I feel like my defenses are weak. I haven?t been able to complete peace, strength, protection in over a month. Does anyone have any suggestions or comments ? Has anyone worked through something like this ? How do I keep myself protected from these situations and their causes if I can?t put up my protections?