At the night of the full moon I asked for the presence of the spirits of the night and the day, the Lady moon and their acquaintances. I asked for their blessings, motivation for my training. Now I feel more love, peace in me. But that has taken my purpose I have set for myself, bad purpose. Somehow I feel I need to find out what I really am. Can you state anything about it? What it might be, any advice. It is like paint has been taken off from me. Now I am blank.
Self knowledge, is one of the key ingredients to understand the outside world. By understanding it, You are ready to "work" with magick. Self knowledge, can be separated in 5 classes. Know Your body, know Yourself, know Your inner self, know Your dreams and Your fears.
~Know Your body.
Sit down to meditate and empty your mind of thoughts. Listen to Your body, consentrate on each part of it at a time. Feel how that part feels, move it a bit to see how it responds to every move. After You are done with that part, move to other parts of Your body. Make sure to start from Your toes, all the way up to Your head. When You are done with it, give emphasis at the parts You did not feel comfortable.
~Know Yourself
Take a paper and separate it in two sides. On the first, write the good things about Yourself, on the other, write the bad ones. Don't hurry to finish with it, it takes time. Also know that You have to be honest when doing this. It's a list from You, to You, so if You lie, You are lieing to Yourself. In the everyday life, make sure to fight Your bad habbits.
~Know Your inner self
Sit down and close Your eyes. Now, let Your thoughts pass through Your eyes. Don't try to explain them with Your logic, just let them flow. You will notice that at first, You will see images of the everyday life, but as the time passes, You will see images and thoughts that You have not thought for years or You never thought about them. When doing this, its possible to experience strong emotions and You may want to cry or scream.
~Know Your dreams
"There are times, that we see dreams which we are not able to explain. Dreams, are symbols and messages that our subconsious created for Us, but our consious is not able to interpret them."
Take a piece of paper and start writing Your dream. Don't let Your logic to interupt You. You will notice that as You write, You will remember details of the dream that You have forgoten. Once You are done writing the dream, at the bottom of the paper, write what You think that each part of the dream means. When You are done doing this too, start reading it. Notice the emotions that it makes You feel. It's very possible that dreams will help You understand more about Yourself and Your inner self.
~Know Your fears
All of Us have fears and all of Us want to get rid of them. The key to know and get rid of Your fears, is to "stab" it at the root. Meditate on Your fears and go backwards in Your life. Find when You started feeling this fear. Know it, accept it and make it a part of You. This will make You stronger and You will no more fear it.
I feel some "inner" me crying and asking itself for someone to say; "Who am I, what is this, what is The Answer, somebody give me the answer!!!".
I do not know what to do...
