Okay, this is lengthy i'm sorry. But i would really value some help right now so please give your veiws.
I grew up for 10 years in a Christian household. Attending church on holidays and barely reading the bible, my parents seemed more ''non religious'' than or other family who were actively involved in MCC and the community's in our area. Anyways, my parents always rammed it down my throat that every religion is right so i was open minded. At the age of 10 i found a book on spells. As a kid barely a preteen, i thought magic was fun despite belief. I watched shows like charmed, buffy the vampire slayer. Read books on witches, and all sorts. Thinking magic was like this, i was excited when i found a magic site. Which gladly it was this one. I started reading the book that i first picked up, ''where to park your broomstick'' at age 11. I son realized that as i was in grade 6 and attending a private school, that i must keep my magic stuff secret. I realized that year, that magic was real, but it wasn't that peter pan stuff, it was the nature, energy, will, ect. I involved myself more, starting to read and slowly understand a concept of what magic was. Finally being introduced to eclectic Wicca, in the same book later, and a video. I decided it was actually an amazing path that suited me. So i told my parents, and their reactions got hostile and of course i was told not to ''play'' with it. That year i started casting circles, and doing basics. Grounding, centering, ect. Finally in the summer i dedicated. Candles and we were having a bonfire on Litha, my plan was bath, circle, and new me. I even created a small part of my room just for my altar.Soon though, as in before summer...i got bullied severely to the point of suicidal thoughts...i was teased, cyber and physical bullied, everything basically. I felt that Wicca grounded me, and started relying on the beliefs and small things as a walk to calm me.
Grade 7 was a breeze, taking sick days..on holidays to celebrate and stuff was amazing. I discovered my family became more okay, and they still are kinda. It was fine until summer camp. I had to go on a trip with my grandparents. Prayers were daily, every meal, morning, and night. I decided since camping was outdoors i'd have fun and treat the prayers as a learning part of wicca. But that week was let's say fun...i got really into the christian part, and stopped my wiccan studies and replaced it with bible teachings. Happy at first, finally i got sick of it. All the strict rules and how everything seemed a sin took me back to Wicca. Grade 8 hit, and i moved schools, being a wiccan again i re dedicated the night before school, and started doing my studies until october. That longing for Christianty came back and i confessed to a priest alone. He was extremely kind and said i was brilliant for a young age so back to christ i went. Then in november i stopped and stayed in wicca. As 20-6 of december and january came, i was in spirit. I got interested in the norse gods,norse path, and stopped my greek path.Mid febraury things stopped. I became obsessed with the Celtic lore, and just finally grew sick of effort in Wicca. Finally between march i slowly stopped. May i changed and in June i threw my books in my house, and took off my altar. Happy though, i messed up a lot.I said wiccan prayers and blessed be instead of christian ones. I finally couldn't take it and told my bff everything. She said i should think on the pro's and cons of both, think on each, and ask which one i feel happy with. I loved both, but i picked Christianty.
Truth is? Now i feel like wicca is right, or some pagan path. Christianty is great but i feel like circle casting, the gods, and the beliefs fit me more. But it's hard because i need to choose but i can't or i don't know how. Wicca feels like home, but Christianty slowly does too now. Sorry for the length and detail, but please offer opinions
Re: Wondering what path?! By: CrystalGrey / Beginner
Post # 3 Jul 27, 2015
You're so very young, my advice would be to stop putting so much pressure on yourself to choose one or the other. Do both for a while and chill out. You will find your way in the world in time, there's no rush. Perhaps it would help if you keep your beliefs to yourself for a while, at least until you are sure yourself what they are. Breathe and relax, you've got a lifetime to figure it out
Wicked, your post is difficult to understand. It seems you want to use Wicca (a religion) to be more 'bad' (in the pejorative sense either as 'good' or bad as 'intimidating'), and the rest is somewhat garbled -- and perhaps English is not your first language -- but it seems possibly you mean to harm those you do not like.
I am not Wiccan, but I can advise you that Wicca -- if you really know the religion -- stands for the opposite of causing harm. Simple reading the Reed would tell you that.
I would suggest you do a bit of reading and study. There are plenty of great articles on this site, as well as posts recommending books, which are full of great information.
At your age I would just soul search, research, and figure out who I am, instead of - what it sounds to me - reading a book, being inspired, and diving head on into a religion. There is nothing wrong with either religion, but it is a big decision, you should take time, hence the study period of a year and a day.
A list of pros and cons is a great idea, but you should also make a list of your own personal views and beliefs. Meditate, ask yourself big questions, and get to the root of who you are, this will help you figure out your path. Now, there are those who practice "Christian Wicca" which is a mash of both. I feel that particular path is very much "have your cake and eat it too" but if that's the path that speaks to you, it's the right path for you. Lughnasadh is coming up in a few days - or Imbolc if you're in the Southern Hemisphere - I suggest you spend from now until Lughnasadh next year to study, soul search, reflect, meditate, and figure yourself out before choosing a religion.
Many teens are trying to figure out who they are, and many turn to a magical path as a fad or to label themselves when they should look inward and figure themselves out. I am not saying you're doing that, but it is common for people your age to find a unique way to define themselves but we don't all fall into neat little boxes, so define you, not your religion, and it will be easier.
Thank you so much to the above post. It really helped me, but since i've already done a year and a day study, i'll do it again to learn more. I suppose i should have listen pro's and cons, and my beliefs. This would've helped!
