How to find a spirit?

Becareful searching for spirits,cause not all are very friendly. Sometimes it's best to leave them at rest and alone. No matter how much you want to contact them, it's best to leave them alone especially if she has been dead for a while, best not to wake a long rested spirit.
Becareful though you don't want to attract the wrong kind of spirit also. And even though you might think you attracted her spirit its more likely to be not since cause she died in a far away place where many people have been innocently killed.

She is dead get over it

Its true she probably is already reincarnated. I think after 10 years souls can get rencarnated. And its true yiu can contact incarnated spirites, but ts best to let her liveher life. Besides she may go by a different name.
You should think of her fondly but dont limit yourself. Maybe yiu soul mate is like her, keep that in mind when you meet peolple.

soul reincarnate at different times, it's when the soul is ready to pass on. sometimes it's instantly, other times it's a few months, and sometimes it's centuries. i have met spirits who have been dead only a few weeks and were ready to move on, they just wanted to check on their loved ones, spirits who are staying in their home because their family still lives they're and i have met those who have been spirits for a hundred years with no intent of crossing over. it just depends, i've never heard of a waiting time, when you are ready, you just cross over.

theoretically, as mentioned, i think it's possible to contact a soul that has crossed over, similar as it is possible for pass life regression to see glimpses of past lives. this all being said, it is the present you should be concerned with. it's hard but spirits are dead, there time here is done, you should focus on your life and the living around you, instead of the dead. i'm not saying you should avoid or ignore them, but realize that getting romantically involved with a spirit will end badly.