So I should choose to "invite" and base the connection on a material object. Telling me to "just research" isn't going to accomplish anything for me... I could read a thousand hours worth of material online and learn nothing but falsities, which is why I was hoping someone could lay out steps for me to follow.
I also don't want to be "here," just as I was "summoned" to reality in this body and I can relate to anything that has witnessed eternity. In the scheme of things time is irrelevant and the only thing to do in it is accomplish things that already exist in eternity. As reality was forced onto me I don't feel the amorality in forcing reality upon another. If a new consciousness came to simply detest me for being here it would saturated by my own mind. When I am alone (as I feel even with other people) I have no drive, I want nothing, and I am only waiting to die and get out of here, move on to a better place and work for things that matter more than to just disappear. I desire to do nothing, and I hate that desire. When I am with another I feel the drive to impress and be competitive, to work diligently towards a goal.
You sound like you're suffering from depression. Summoning isn't the answer for that, there are self help books if you don't want to go through couseling. This world is a place to learn and grow, not a paradise. It's not meant to be easy or fun. But attempting to escape it is only going to put you back into a life again. You're supposed to do what you're meant to achieve here, and that's different from individual to individual, so its up to you to figure out what that is.
I'm not depressed at all and I'm not trying to escape my life. I embrace my reality for what it is. As for purpose, I stated in my original post I am always intrigued by music and enjoy playing it. As for learning and growing, I have nothing to grow towards and no interest in learning anything in this world. I am not trying summon or invite for fun, I want to because I desire to achieve what the process brings. I enjoy synergies and want to experience one. I here asking for help, not asking for what people think is wrong with me. I've been analyzing myself my entire life, far longer than you have been.
I can't give you steps on how to accomplish what you intend to, but I will tell you this. Summoning, inviting or whatever you want to call it, you're still opening yourself up to something to take hold of your mind, your spirit, and maybe even your body. Even if you want to call forth a specific deity to share a mind with, you're still opening up basically a free for all for any roaming spirit, or entity to just enter you. That can be extremely dangerous. Even if you feel that your mind is strong, you may encounter an evil entity that will try to disprove that and you can lose yourself. If you try to summon a specific deity to you, you have to be careful as that deity or entity or spirit will want something in exchange. The bottom line is that you're inexperienced. If you want to tackle something of this nature I suggest you put a few years aside to practice meditation, grounding, centering, and taking complete control of your mind. I also suggest you find somebody to explain to you the process of not pissing off, or being tricked by an entity that you wish to mentally co-habitate with. While you say that you have complete control of your mind, feelings, wants and needs, I believe you truly do, but that all changes once you have something in your mind, sharing your thoughts, and if evil possibly corrupting them.
This 'cannot' be done. Your mind is 'yours' and no one else's. Same goes for whatever creature you wish to 'try' this with. If indeed you saw this gold aura, that was simply your 'own' gold aura ( research chakra's) Your consciousness 'disconnecting' is the natural result of this 'experimentation' with the rec products. If you have 'no interest' in magic then your path is at an 'end'. In order to 'communicate' with supernatural beings a magical practice is 'essential' . They and 'only' they can help you on your journey. Without the study and practice involved with magic then you 'cannot' delve into the other side without it. Summoning is the highest form of magical practice there is and to 'attempt' it without study and knowledge will result in 'no results' at all.......
First step is to find out who or what you want to share your mind with, why that specific entity(s), what to give it in return and bond with it, and protection against any passing spirit that might take advantage of the situation and join with you instead. Find a summoning ritual that suits your needs but if you can't, create your own. When you succeed in summoning the entity take some time to 'know' it better and decide whether you really want to join with such an entity though be careful as you could get swept up in the moment. Best of luck in your endeavour.
