A heavy question.

Thanks for all the replies.

I'll answer some questions posted here as well as some solutions.

First and foremost, thanks tylorshiki for your informative post.

Surgery isn't something im willing to do. And unless some other solutions exists I'm out of luck. But the pursuit of knowledge is something that is ongoing and persistent. Which is also why im here asking on these forums.

Some have posted asking "why would you ask if i don't believe in magic." Simple, things, logic, and existence are not gifted with my inherit belief. Asking why i would ask questions and prod into the minds of those who think something is true is like questioning the motives behind the inquiries into any trade of misunderstood information. Truth is not hinging on my belief in it. It either is or it isn't.

In other words, why would I ask a question that i already know the answered too?

I wouldn't.

Under some slight possibility magic could grant me the things in life that i want then i would do it. But it seems as of date it cannot. And in a way, magic for me, the magic i look for, does not exist.

thanks for all the replies again.