Surreal Experiences

Thanks again for responding Jet. Reading all these various responses with "succubus", black magic, telepathy etc. is something I would have smiled at prior to that day but now I'm more confused than ever because being perfectly sober and experiencing what I did leaves every door open as to what really is the answer.

Again never having experienced anything remotely close to this in my entire life boggles my mind.

I actually have told my wife about the event a few months afterwards and when I told her about the hallucinations and how vivid they were she had some "rational" explanations.

I agree that the sunlight shining behind her through her hair might have given a halo like effect but what about the almost simultaneous deep red glow emanating from the floor beneath her feet?

As soon as she saw me her jaw dropped slightly as if she recognized me but if so was at least surprised so don't believe she was waiting for me specfically. She was standing by herself in the magazine aisle facing away from the magazines as if she was waiting for someone. Perhaps anyone suitable?

Like I alluded to from the "Heaven and Hell" (Halo and red glow) apsect she mostly appeared Angelic (good) as she had a beautiful smile and when I was looking into her eyes face to face with no facial expression and most likley vacant eyes her eyes took on a concerned look. I would have been concerned too if a strange guy acted like I did with no verbal greeting, etc.

I'm thinking there is no magic here and that she was a "normal woman" but might have been a predator or a divorcee on the hunt and I just happened to be the first acceptable man that came across her path.

Years ago at the V.A. here I was told people such as myself with PTSD have an inordinate amout of "stress hormones" and adrenalin that rapidly increase in stressful situations.

Now I wouldn't think that coming into contact with an attractive woman smiling at me would have caused this reaction but her strong, unrelenting eye contact that never ceased may have catalyzed this. I have never experienced this much "aggression" by a woman in my life before. I felt during this period that she was the "man" and I was "her bitch".

I don't believe I have ever been more intimidated by any man or woman before in my entire life and I do not intimidate easily.

Anyway the hypothesis goes that when an inordinate amout of the stress hormones are coursing through the body they exert pressure on the vocal cords creating a "selective mutism" and can also presure the optic nerve causing hallucinations.

My strong Catholic upbringing may have caused the "Heaven and Hell" effect.

Yes this is my first "supernatural experience" if indeed that is what it was but I am inclined to believe as I have previously stated that there are rational explanations for this.

Regardless I am concerned how my mind was affected where I essentially shut down on a conscious level and had no discernable thoughts and couldn't speak. It was almost like I was on thorazine, a drug that the V.A. once used on me decades ago.

If I had another episode similar to this then I would really be afraid but so far after seven months nothing.

Still "the event" is in my mind every day and even when I wake up at night a couple times she is always there.

As I said she was very angry when I finally "rejected" her (it was not my conscious choice) and perhaps she put some sort of curse on me?

Uh, Oh, magic?

Or perhaps it is all in my mind and I am angry that I was temporarily "out of my mind". I was absolutely, totally powerless to have acted any differantly than I did in that given period of about two minutes or so.

Regardless the way I am wired is that I need closure on "the event" and the only way I can see achieving that is by somehow meeting/communicating with that woman.

I realize though that perhaps that won't happen so I try to prepare myself .

I also feel somewhat guilty for continuing to think about this woman, almost like I am in a way "cheating" on my wife.

I also think continuously about the probabilty of meeting someone who is in my mind's eye "The perfect Angel" and meeting her in what I believe was a circumstance (the intense sunlight filtering through her hair in to my eyes, etc.) that prevented me from actually meeting her.

As you realize I have thought about this obsessively and I truly believe that if I had come across her path in almost any other lighting situation I wouldn't have had those hallucinations.

I can't know this for sure but I believe it is so.

Thanks especially for your thoughts in your last paragraph on never losing faith in myself and the people I love, etc.

I've copied this post as well and will re-read on occassion to fortify my faith.

Hi SPQR, Hail Ceasar!

What was this goddess you spoke of previously? And if she was indeed that why would you consider me lucky?

Perhaps from the perspective of a young man such as yourself and not married I can understand that. But if she was this "succubus", wouldn't that be like a vampire sucking your life's essence from you?

P.S. I see I made a mistake and posted the same thing twice. My apologies.

Very good then. I'm happy to see that you are coming to terms with this and making progress. Sorry about bringing up all this crazy magic-stuff you've never heard before. There is always the possibility that we were wrong about her being a succubus, though the surreality of you meeting her is still something to consider. Whether your feelings regarding her are her doing or yours, you can definitely make it through this. For now, there seems little reason to worry, but maintain your resolve just in case. May you find the answers to all your questions in the future, and be safe during the trip. Blessed be, as always.

I just wanted to say "Welcome Home, Bro." I served as an Army Nurse in III and IV Corps during Vietnam. And I too deal with PTSD from my experiences there. It isn't an easy road to walk and I admire anyone who has managed to live a good life in spite of it.

Thanks and to you as well.

You nurses are wonderful although I wasn't wounded physically I know many of my brothers that were and spoke highly of how they were treated.

I served both "tours"(gotta love that term, eh?) in II Corps, in the triple canopy of the Central Highlands. I was 18 in 1967 when I was at Dak To (4th Infantry Div.) I came back almost a year later after serving with the 82nd @ Bragg.

The second tour was with the 173rd Airborne Brigade (B/4/503rd Infantry) also in II Corps but east in the Tiger Mountains near Bong Son.

There was a big difference between my tours in a 3 year time frame with the one year between stateside @ Ft. Bragg.

The first tour was mostly larger term engagements with NVA and 122 mm rocket attacks. The second time they pulled us out of the mountains in early 1970 to form a new mission of "pacification" in an attempt to win the "hearts and minds" of the South Vietnemese. LOL as we would pull Med-Caps in the local villes in Binh Dinh provence and then get fired upon by small arms and RPG's from the ville at night. I know of only one suicide but several "fraggings" and one murder of my best buddy Tony Flores by a black trooper from another company that happened at a stand down @ our LZ North English.

Anyway we made it and we just have to beware of our greatest enemy. Ourselves.