Renee

Every one here has given you good tips. Believing in your self is very important. so is loving yourself. If u don't love you, nobody else will. I've been in your shoes(seems I've worn a lot of peoples shoes, lol. Its a wonder I don't have foot fungus!) I was raised in a Xtian cult(jim jones type.only way I know to discribe.) I too was the scapegoat of my family. Lost track of how many preachers they dragged me to to get "the Devil cast out of me." (Hey did you know the devil is blue. Have it on good authority.)Din't work tho. That ole big blue devil always came back, lol.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
It takes work, but you can get past this. As for being cursed, a lot of people think they are. but a lot of the time, they are recieving life lessons. If my earlier trials hadn't happened and I hadn't developed the strengh and endurance that they gave me, I wouldn't have survived other worse things down the road.( and yes their are worse things, like losing a child)
I used to think maybe I'd done something really bad in a previous life to deserve the things that happened to me, but then I came to realize If I could go back and change what happened I wouldn't. These things are the things that made me, ME. sometimes Its not a curse, or even karma. Sometimes its just things you need to learn. Maybe some people need a stronger kick in the pants in order to learn the life lessons we need. I know I probably wouldn't have found wicca, if my life had been sunshine n roses.
CM

that is a fair point and I agree with what you are saying!!

Things happen for a reason (yes we do think, 'why us') but again I too wouldn't change mylife as this is who I am I have found my true calling and destiny!!