Re: Should I feel this way? By: Banbury / Beginner
Post # 12 Nov 14, 2014
If you cannot respect her beliefs then it's time to move on to someone else. This is why: She respects what you believe, and she would want you to do the same. If you don't, it's not gonna work between you and her.
Normally, a person who practice magick is ok with other religions (accepting). But you happen to be different- so, if you don't digress, you will probably, eventually lose her- or she will lose you.
I respect her beliefs I just dont agree with it. I would never even consider telling her to shut up about it or saying we cant be together because of it. I am tolerant of every religion, I just dont like the change she hid from me for months while transitioning. I dont agree or like the idea of monotheism, but I like and respect people for being, well people. I can have an opinion against something, deem it morally correct or not, but thats all itll stay, my opinion. Im not going to say we cant interact with each other or nothing like that, I just put my foot down because I dont want to see or hear it.
It sounds like your real problem is your offended that she didn't talk to you about making this life change. Like you felt she was betraying you by not bringing you into her choices.
While couples usually sit back and talk about big life changes, things like this that are completely about one the person, shouldn't be debated between the couple. She made her choice for her, and only she could. She didn't need to consult you. If she did before making the choice, than great, but than you should tell her "ITs up to you and what you feel is right for you. I'll support you no matter what and help you as much as I can on your path to finding yourself" that is what a loving man or woman should do.
If she was to make a choice of what birth control to use, would you be apart of this discussion? Maybe, but in the end its her choice. Rather she goes with an implant or pills, its her choice and only she can come up with the answer for herself as she knows her body the best. Just like she knows her own soul the best.
I understand where your coming from, I do. You should not be attacked for these feelings. However, you do need to talk to her, figure out why you really feel this way. While at the same time you need to support her in it no matter what and in every way you can. She would you. Doesn't mean you have to have anything to do with her religion. And yes, this means driving her to church and sleeping near her bible. Dose she not sleep or live near your religious things?
The path one chooses to realize the self has many roads, you should look at this as her, experiencing herself to test the waters and perhaps find new answers about life, that could never had happened without this transgression... there is absolutely no right path to take... if you wanna look at it in a bible thumpers manner (which Christians/ Catholics love to exemplify oddly) we are all sinners, filthy, imperfect, un-knowing unless we repent for sin and suffer, toiling in the dirt for the rest of our days ....
haha I say, for we are in gods image, perfect, enlightening creatures, and so above as below, we shape our own realities, she is in the process of shaping hers, this has nothing to do with you personally.... don't take this personally.... rather you should be supportive in the general aspects of her happiness and well being (if you actually "care" about her) and not tie them to the standpoints of religious babble.
In truths aspect, (though harsh) if you cant be a man and do this.... then you don't diverse her, for your failure to have self awareness, change and understanding about her position and personal choices.
Yet you are a bigger man, I have faith in all...... step up sir.
She has no idea because i hide it and thinks im okay with it. I still love her and all, its just cant handle such a change in lifestyle. Its not for me. And knowing her personality , in a few months she'll probably try to convert me.
I think the first part in bold is the biggest problem. How can you call this a relationship if you don't communicate with each other? Not only you telling her, "I respect your faith but I have my own hang-ups about it and would prefer you don't talk about it to me anymore, because you know that I become uncomfortable." But her listening to your discomfort, and/or you listening to how happy her conversion has made her.
And you're so sure that in a few months she'll try to convert you... Either she's ignorant or very insensitive to the history that you have with Christianity, or you're saying it's a part of her personality that she doesn't respect your hot-button issues and personal boundaries.
In my opinion, she isn't the person you fell in love with anymore, so my advice would be that you...love her on the way out of your life.
