You didn't offend, Meikoi. I was just trying to explain the difference between some of the harsher conversations that occur on this site and bullying. Sometimes people need "tough love." So long as it doesn't degenerate into just picking on someone, anyway.
I've recently been on a seminar about Bullying. And these are what I learn.
First, a bully is a person who inflicts pain on others. Because of many reasonable or not reasonable reasons. A bully is not naturally born to the world. It is created. The most common reason is that a bully is a bully because that person is bullied by their own family at home. They feel little about themselves and so they try to cover it up through acting so tough.
They are most like to be define as:
B - Big
U - Ugly
L - Loner
L - Loser
Y - Yearning for attention
They are always a loser because they can never be satisfied with their actions.
Everyone has always been very respectful to me on this sight. I've seen some hardheadedness and some picking on but you always need to carry yourself in a way that gives and gets respect. I mean if you come in sideways your going to get sideways, if you catch my drift..... Blessings to all...
i get your point Meikoi, but a few things i disagree with, primarily, bullying today. i know when i was a kid there wasn't cyberbullying, but i had it really tough, and i was told to suck it up. i defended kids when they were being picked on, but a dissagreement is not the same a bullying.
also, the medium is the message. by which i mean, this is a typed reply, you aren't in my head and you cannot hear my tone. the previous statment about bullying i made was done to explain and not insult, though to you it might have come across confrentational and angry. i understand, i have seen/read what you mean by agressive language. i've had a few times people who have dissagreed with a forum post of mine, and even though i ignore them on the forum to avoid a confrentation, will them mail me like crazy. i've never brought it up to a moderator because i just hit delete, or i avoid the forum post. in that sense it is different from bullying. if they had your facebook and number and real email address, i can see how it could fall under cyberbullying. yet from my few run ins with the subject, it's like a fly that keeps buzzing around you, just ignore it.
I agree with one underlying point in this entire thread; you can tell anyone anything, its not what you say its how you say it. Like telling a well respected member of society to go take a flying leap off a cliff, usually starts with " With all due respect but....". I will agree that there is a polite way to disagree or have a difference of opinion, however 90% of what many call "getting aggressive" or "bullying" oftens stems from one's inability to either accept constructive (objective) criticism or things said in a blunt fashion (not sugar coated).
The term bullying as a whole is blown well out of proportion anymore, when I was in school the kid strong arming you for your lunch money or stuffing you into a locker was a bully. The kid that laughed at you or even made fun of you was just a little idiot that you quickly learned to ignore. In today's society the person that disagrees with your line of thinking or happens to point out that you are wrong is called a bully. This isn't a bully its called a reality check, and meant to send you back to rethink your thoughts or even logically go research something.
Another issue, many young people get upset that others don't take them seriously, and call those people bullies. I have to disagree here again, [for relevant reasons and not picking - "...its when someone doesnt share the same veiw as yourself you dont try to solve it assertivly ( where both parties win not only ur own) you...."] <--- When I see this in a forum, especially the text speak chances are I won't take you seriously either. You didn't seem to care enough about how you carry and present yourself, so why should I? In a forum or chat platform I can't see the expressions on your face, nor hear the tone in your voice and vice versa. All you have is the words on the screen, how you type and what you say is all a person has to go on. If it looks or sounds like crap, then that is obviously what will come in return.
So in the end 99.9% of what is called bullying on this site isn't that at all. Its usually someone disagreeing, someone with more experience telling you that you are wrong, or someone coming at you the same way you came at them. As for all the mispelled words and text talk, the owner of this site has been nice enough to incorporate a spell check in the post & reply boxes (turn html editor on in your profile), and some will say well I typed this on my phone. This is a forum get off your phone and wait 'til you get to a computer to post. (I promise the thread idea will still in your head when you get there if it was that important.)
And by the way I am not a bully, I'm a middle aged grouch. This is what happens when you wisely adopt a no drama policy, refuse to sugar coat the truth, and have no patience for shenanigans. ;-)
I have lived by the same statement as what Awaketoolong said "belief is just that, belief". I use to complain about this issue but have come to a few conclusions. I know this is going to sound mean but... get a backbone people. No matter what you do, no matter how nice you are, someone out there is going to find a reason not to like you. In this day and age you think it would be easier for us to come together as occultists, but it is not. There are so many views in this world and thanks to the way many of us have been taught, we stand firm on ours. Bullying is a bad thing, but not something that should upset you enough to rule your life or make you cry.
Stand firm, straight and proud in who you are. Each one of us is different and therefore unique. Let that part of you shine and if others do not like it, too bad for them. I know it may seem hard but when people bully you, learn to ignore them. Just like everyone else, they want attention and praise for who they are. If you reinforce that with negative feedback or give them what they want, they will continue to bully others.
It's when people insult other beliefs is the type of bulling i am getting at. Just because someone askes for a mermaid spell or think their real is no ground for harassment. Read what Role- Playing means and you'll see the ones who harassing should get gagged.
i like what you have to say its a lot of negative energy you dont need to harbor... i did open a study account and one of my buddys from my regular account was really rude to me, i asked if anyone believed in sending positive energy to a sick friens and ot treated like a newbie or fluff i started to argue then took the high road n just got off but sometimes its hard especially when on the regular account its a friend... so my first bullying experience4 but no sweat just be the bigger person... picking on people is just ones way of making them self feel bigger... as daddy said water off a ducks back.... blessings to all
