want advice bout shadows

What's the state of mind you have, brand, when communicating with your grandpa and dog?

You can search YouTube "guided meditations" in Dutch if that's easier for you. Don't know how to meditate? Even if you read the link that I posted? Meditation is staying with the darkness of your mind.

state of mind?
what is that?

The feeling...the experience, of your mind. Your "state of mind" or "mindset" is different when you use your memory for a quiz at school and get good marks/grades for school, is different when you feel sleepy, is different when you are dreaming, is different when you party with your friends awake...

Or maybe not, maybe you can talk to your grandfather in the same awake state of mind at any time? It's different for everyone, but normally people talk to ghosts more easily by meditation.

when sirious or alone felling lonely or when it is important ( when in danger
dont need to meditate (sort of doing it always when my mind knows peace while doing other things (like leechers dont know they are leeching i dont know i am meditating (deep deep in mind and most of the time siting))

Ok, just checking. So...I can only advise you learn and practice meditation, or write in a private journal your feeling until your mind changes into a peaceful feeling (then that is like your mind being in the shadows) and keep writing. Meditation is a more direct way.

dont understand you

If you can't meditate because you don't know how, then learn how. And then do meditation.

I also advise to write in a notebook your feelings. This can change your mindset, and that mindset change will lead to the way of the shadow.