Re: Life not going as planned
By: Spirit76 / Novice
Post # 4
Sep 08, 2017
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I find that pretty much everyone finds some way that life is not going the way they want it to. It is pretty normal as everybody has their own ups and downs. personally i think that this outlook of positive or negative, however, is merely a matter of opinion and perspective.
Heck, most people don't even really know what it is that they -do- want. And even if they got precisely what they were looking for, they would still not be content. This is because most often people are looking for some external thing that will 'make' them happy.
"If I had more money, I would be happy." - until desire expands and one finds more things to buy.
"If I just had a significant other, it would make me happy." - until one realizes that one's significant other isn't there solely to make you happy.
"If I just had more free time, I'd be more happy." - Until one realizes that boredom sets in quickly.
"if only I had a different job, I'd be happy." - until one realizes they still have to work there, too.
I consider happiness and contentment to be more of a personal choice, manifest from the current balance between what a person desires, and what they are able to achieve out of those desires. I saw it once put into a mathematical formula and found the representation to be simple and genius. (I'm gonna make a quick doodle of it and throw it into my images. it should be there soon if it isn't already. ^_^)
In the end, a person has two options. either improve their resources to try and meet the needs of obtaining their desires, or manage their desires to meet their available resources. It is up to the individual as to what route they choose.
Another thought is that in the moment, we as people really can't truly determine if any event that seems good or bad is -actually- good or bad in the long run. Losing your job could bean financial struggle... but it could also lead to finding a better one. Locking your keys in the car might mean you are frustrated or delayed on that road-trip you have been so excited about... but it could also mean you avoided being in the middle of a major accident or storm further down the road. We just don't know what will come of any event until that result comes. And even then that outcome could become different at each link of the chain of events that follows.
In the end, all we can do is ride the chaotic wave and consciously choose to do our best to turn what we encounter into a positive.
Like that equation, there is a Taoist story that I also really favour;
http://www.yogalifestylecoach.com/presentmoment.html
The story is used all over the place, and has a couple different versions, but they all have the same moral.
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Re: Life not going as planned
By: Nekoshema / Novice
Post # 5
Sep 08, 2017
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i don't think your life isn't going as planned because of a magickal energy buildup, but perhaps it is due to not putting your energy in the right place. it happens, we get into a routine, find a comfort zone, and slow down on things like personal development, or we decide to grab take-out on the way home because work was crazy, or we choose the bus instead of walking, and then you wake up and realize you eat out 3 times a week, never exercise, and instead of meditating you scroll through facebook. it's breaking free of that and getting back to normal [or, changing your old ways to become who you want to be]
you might consider carrying a book around with you and write down what an average week looks like [example: awake at 7, scrolls on phone for 30 minutes, shower/getting ready 45 minutes, 5 minute drive, 8 hour work, 5 minute drive, 5 hours netflix, dinner, bed, phone 2 hours, asleep 12] from there you can try and trim down gradually and make changes [say eat breakfast instead of playing on your phone, walk to work on nice days, or take half an hour at night to meditate/read]
journalling can also help you find your path and stick with it [say you want to get healthy, there's apps to track your exercise and what you eat to see if you need more vegetables, or less sugar, or whatever] you might also consider a vision board, where you pin up photo's/phrases of things you wish to get out of life. hang it somewhere you'll see it every day, then take a few minutes to sit and visualize your desired life [be sure to also write down a plan to achieve it. yes, this can charge you with energy and help create opportunities to get to that point, but if you dream of being a doctor, but won't look into school, this exercise won't do much]
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Re: Life not going as planned
By: SherriAxby
Post # 6
Sep 08, 2017
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When I said things haven't been going my way, I was referring to career, specifically. I have been trying to get a career off the ground for over 10 years, and I can't get a job. I went to college, and looked for a job for 2 years, and couldn't get a job, so I went back to college. After I finished the second time, I looked for a job for 2 years, and couldn't find one. So I went back to college again (which is where I'm at currently). I still have a few classes to finish up, but I'm looking for a job so I can work while I finish up the few classes I have left.
I don't have money because I've never had a steady job, because when you've been looking for a job for as long as I have, that gap on your resume looks bad to employers and they don't want to hire you, which results in that gap getting bigger and bigger, which makes people really not want to hire you.
I have had a few jobs here and there for a couple of months at a time, but nothing long term, which also looks bad on your resume. It's not because I couldn't keep the job, it's because the work slowed down and they didn't need as many people. Or I was just hired for Christmas, or it was through a temp agency.
I feel like I've been cursed.
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Re: Life not going as planned
By: kimmiko
Post # 7
Sep 08, 2017
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From what I understand about curses, it starts to work when you believe it does. I don't think that is the case for you. I know colleges have places for students to sign up for internships. That could be a place for you to look into. Remember positivity attracts positivity.
Most employers want to hear that you are a team player and are happy with your life. They want to hear you have goals that align with the job. You shouldn't say things like the job you're taking isn't what you want (unless you want to grow in the company. Even then that's a tricky conversation.) Making a good impression is also important. It may sound silly, but the couple of minutes they make you wait, they're accessing if you're a good fit. Looking up and smiling is a great way to show them your confidence. Inside an interview, where I am from you look directly in the employer's eyes briefly and nod. Do not look down or fumble with your fingers the entire time you are at the interview. Keep your arms open and do not cross your arms. Shut off your phone. Make sure you have at least two questions and brush up on the history of the company. They like to see that you have an interest in it. I wish you luck, so mote it be. Have a blessed day.
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Re: Life not going as planned
By: SherriAxby
Post # 8
Sep 08, 2017
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I don't even get called for interviews.
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Re: Life not going as planned
By: kimmiko
Post # 9
Sep 08, 2017
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Annoyingly enough, you have to call them back. You ask for the manager on duty. Tell them you had an interview at (insert date) and was wondering if they have reviewed it. They may say they're still going through interviews and to call back(insert date). If they say that they're still inter It's I g give it a week and call back again or say theyre still reviewing, know you will have to be the one contacting them again. There are some places that will hire a couple hours after interviews and others a month later. It all depends on the openings they have for the job and if they remember you. Be impressionable. Call back. It shows you care about getting the job. Don't call back everyday, but don't wait on them.
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Re: Life not going as planned
By: kimmiko
Post # 10
Sep 08, 2017
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Uh-oh. That may mean you're putting too little or too much on your resume. A resume should only be a page long. Put down jobs that are most relevant to what you're trying to pursue. If they ask about the gaps, say you were attending school at the time, but left the previous job on good times.
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Re: Life not going as planned
By: Shapash / Novice
Post # 11
Sep 08, 2017
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You can also include volunteer time if it was at a place where it's relevant; such as volunteering for a resale center when going into retail.
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Re: Life not going as planned
By: Spirit76 / Novice
Post # 12
Sep 13, 2017
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it sounds to me like you might be well served by going to a local employment agency and asking them to help you with your resume. Those damn little pieces of paper are a bugger to get right and even just having a second set of eyes and some fresh ways of trying to sell yourself is all it takes.
it might also be a matter of you being too specific on the jobs you are going after. it is always a wonderful idea to train for a field, and get in immediately to a specific position. but you need to expect to enter in on the ground floor. Or, in some places even by digging your way up from the basement. Even if you can just get into a company that works in the same field as you hare schooling for will give you a foot in the door to start working on internal applications and transfers to get to the department you want.
Also, having six years of education is not a small thing. and having courses in several different fields might feel like wasted time at the moment, but there are some interesting things going on these days. There was a person who put out a set of three videos called shift happens, and they are pretty awesome.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wT2D-6-7kSk
bottom line, if the pattern of action isn't working, look into ways you can change it. Most colleges have alumni services available. make use of them. Check your school alumni forums and newsgroups as well- a lot of people like to start their own ventures once they finish their education, and they are more likely to hire on people they know first, and then people who come from the same school and a similar graduating year. It instills an implicit common ground. And look for new ways that those multiple courses can be of a benefit even to fields where they weren't meant for.
For example, the bulk of my post-secondary education was focused on social sciences. Philosophy, psychology, sociology, new-media (a mash of advertising, web development, computer programming, etc. ... I found out I am not so patient with programming.) When i found myself becoming a security officer I thought at first that my education turned out to be a gross waste of time and money. but then it clicked that my job entirely revolved around dealing with people, understanding their behaviors, observing and risk assessing, getting compliance of individuals and crowds, crisis management in a wide variety of situations, spatial awareness, and managing it all while being professional, centered, focused, and on that razor balance of friendliness and authority. In the end, all of my 'people studying' give me gigantic advantage, and I found new ways of applying that knowledge just about every day.
I think part of what is holding you back is a developed idea of 'train these skills to get this reward.' and life these days is unfortunately in the bad habit of not working in straight lines any more. Sit down in your spare time and write a list of all of the different things you have learned about. Have some friends help you, or as mentioned a career counselor or other alumni service. bounce ideas and hunt for the little skills that you might not see right away. Dig into the nooks and crannies of your education and also your experiences.
Then take each one, one at a time, and explore as many different ways you can apply it to random things. Take the one idea and put it to a random job, task, or real life problem and explore how you can make it apply. I guarantee you will surprise the hell out of yourself.
Next thing to try is being similarly reflective on yourself and what it is you want to do. I don't mean by way of specific careers, jobs, tasks, hobbies, etc. I mean the boiled down, strained through, simmered down core of what you want from yourself when you walk out the door. Something non-specific but an idea that really makes you feel happy and valuable when you are able to achieve it. Heh, in the words of your average b-movie extra, ask "What is my motivation?"
For me, I boiled my own motivation down to "I like to help people." For you it might be different. it might be 'I like to learn new things." or "i like to conquer puzzles." or "I like to cook." ... whatever it is, write it down at the very top margin, in gigantic bold letters, at the top of your list of skills. then start comparing and see how those skills can be made to apply.
At the very least, this (rather lengthy) exercise might help you in remembering how much value your skills actually have, and it might trigger inspiration or reveal a direction to try that you haven't thought of. Or, at the very least, it gives you a toolbox of key words and phrases you can use later in building a resume that is tailored specifically for the exact job you want, and makes you leap off the page, grab them by the collar, and slap them around until they submit to your awesomeness. ^_^
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Re: Life not going as planned
By: Nekoshema / Novice
Post # 13
Sep 13, 2017
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oh, so you want/need a job, but you've got a lot of negative energy built up over the years. here's what you do, cleanse your space [perhaps redecorate, maybe with some energy flow in mind, but more importantly to give things fresh look] from there use your space efficiently. if it's an office, make sure you put the intention in that 'this is for work, not play' [say a chant, or hang a mantra up that states this fact] this way the energy of that room will be focused with 'business' in mind.
from there i would fix up your resume/cover letter to perfection [check out job centers for help] next i would cast a job spell so you have told the universe to open the doors for you, and send off your resumes. [you might also consider a job chant before you begin your day of passing out resumes, calling places, and researching]
i know how discouraging it can be and sometimes you need to take a 'right now' job while you look for your forever job, but try not to get too low, as this can effect the energy around you. i'm not saying it's what keeps you from finding work, but if you feel you need to clear out the energy then you should try to stay in the light and not let negative energy stagnate in your space for your own health. good luck to you.
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