Spend some time around each element and you should feel your comfort levels with each. The more comfortable you feel towards the element, the easier it should be for you to manipulate the elemnet. This make take some time so do not become frusterated. In the end you should be able to train yourself to manipulate each. The best advice I can give is when you find out which element you are most comfortable around, work with that one element for awhile. This allows you to gain confidence in your abilities as well as making sure you can truly manipulate the element to your fullest capabilities.
how exactly could you control an element because i strugle. im comfterbul with water but if i could control water would i be ablt to put a drop of water on the table and move the water without touching it ?sorry if that sounds stupid
That would be difficult.
Your best bet would be to do almost a 'resonance' or connection with a bowl of water, and move a toothpick around or make the water ripple.
Note this: dates, times, stars and all other similar things have little or no impact on magic. Magic comes from within and from nature, not from something as petty as your birthday. And in terms of finding an element you are most comfortable with, I would say that you should probably already know. Do you not notice any affiliations with certain aspects of nature? Does a certain element attract you, calm you, make you feel powerful? I primarily use elemental magic above all other forms, and the element I work with is water. I knew from a very young age that this element was special to me, almost instinctively in fact. Fish seemed to be attracted to me, I could call down rain on command, I could control water currents... and eventually I realized it was magic. For me it was as simple as that. Of course, I am lucky enough to have a mage in the family, so after that I was able to get proper training. I suggest you seek out a mentor of your own.
for me i dont seek to control the element but to be guided by it and to embody its aspects. i use the alphbet of dreams and i use it for martial arts writing music casting spells. im just an journeyman and my power but ive found that meditation and pathworking help so far ive combine a combination of elements to form my own style called the shooting star it combines elements of wind fire and water mostly ice and vapor also shadow and ligt are elements. one of the things im skilled at is bining elements which are idea given form and making my body resitant to those elemts like i can stick my hand in boiling water and not get burned or being immune to cold and hot tempetures
You must also note that when we talk about element magick, it doesn't always point to that specific thing, there are a lot of symbolic around it also.
For example. If your element is water, it doesn't just mean that you can manipulate water, there are a lot of symbolic meanings around it too. You should check out the element magick coven's forum, it is all explained there.