Fenriel:
I can attest to certain members of the site having a good relationship with
Loki. He can and does horse those who are willing. I cannot say if he is in
pain or not, but I can vouch for Heathen personally, as well as for others
who follow the Northern Path. Perhaps he is.
In my workings (both with Loki and others) they aren't always constrained by their circumstances. For instance, while Loki may (or may not) be bound he's never shown me his chained self. At least a part of them isn't bound by the normal rules of the physical world, but it also leads me to wonder if they aren't also not bound by the normal rules of time.
Another thing to consider is that although the lore has been passed down through literature, that literature was oral before literate Christians came along. So what you are actually reading whenever you are reading the lore is a translated version of an oral mythology of one or more persons that may or may not have been changed to be more Christian by the writers of the time. Since nearly everyone's family converted to Christianity at some point (or at least pretended to convert), we can't necessarily prove beyond a doubt that the lore is mythologically accurate for the people of the time.
Due to this we also can't necessarily prove that Ragnorok didn't already occur, isn't currently occurring, or will one day occur. Or that Ragnorok is actually real for that matter. At least, we can't prove it.
Upg wise, we can know, but that becomes a question of who is the special snowflake when your upg is different from mine. If I say it's already happened, you say it will happen, and Percy says it is happening, I'd think we are all equally wrong and right. I honestly think that their level doesn't fit to us.
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As to the Deity Possession, what level of it are you doing? (Refer to this if it will help: http://www.spellsofmagic.com/coven_ritual.html?ritual=2286&coven=628) Are you sure that you don't fear him somewhere inside you? Or rather that you don't fear a loss of self control or loss of self? Do you have any guides that might think you aren't quite yet ready for this? Any others that you work with who might think that? Have you asked Loki about it yet?
Ok, first of all, are you alone during all of this? How are you certain that it is Loki? Is this a controlled situation?
Horsing with a deity should not be done just to chat. It should be done for serious matters with only in my opinion. Other spirits may be more willing to work with or through you in this manner on a more consistent basis.
You scream no and then you sleep. Did you think that perhaps someone is telling you not to do this and then shutting you down? You scream uncontrollably because, well, that's what happens when you are taken over by something. You no longer have control. That's also why it is considered advanced work and dangerous.
The message seems loud and clear to me. Whoever you are horsing is telling you very firmly and even aggressively "no" and then ending the session preventing you from attempting to further it. Either you are not ready or you are not doing it for the right reasons. There are better ways to communicate and you need to explore those and stop..."horsing around" hehehe...corny pun, couldn't help myself ;p
As someone who has practiced horsing within the Northern Tradition, who has had experience but still only does it when needed, I think I agree with White on this one. Something isn't right, and you might just not be ready for it.
Horsing is supposed to be a very serious matter. You shouldn't attempt it as a means of simple communication between yourself and the deity. You shouldn't do it by yourself, it's best to have another person monitoring you. And it's best to be a little more advanced before you try to go all the way with it.
Sat also brought up a great point: Ask Loki. He's likely got answers since the problem is occurring while you are trying to horse him.
So, I meditated on it and met my Spirit Guide. Her name is Olam and she said it was her screaming. After asking her why, she said I wasn't ready. At first thought before all this, I thought I was hearing Sigyns sorrow first hand. Guess not.
But I have to go with her on this one. It seems that you aren't ready at all for it. It seems like your guide or someone is obviously (and making it very obvious to you that you aren't) and shutting you down. It isn't a thing to be doing so often either. It can drain you and cause you harm (It caused me major energy loss, headaches, and stomach pains even the first time I attempted channeling).
I suggest to take time and meditate, thing, and examine the situation closely. You'll figure it out, dear. :)
