When I cry, no tears leak out
When I speak, my voice wouldn't speak out
When I try, I feel like failing
Like falling from the sky, wailing
I say I don't care but deep inside I do
There's another me inside that's much more of a fool
A whole other me, nothing like the way I act
Not speaking out as the real me, is what I lack
When I speak as my true self, I can't bear it
When I look around, everything's so brightly lit
When I see all the things that are truly around
I fell so ashamed, I followed the way I found
I say I don't care but deep inside I do
Why do I act this way, I'm such a fool
I'm not supposed to be this person but I try to pretend
I guess for the real me, this is the end
When I pretend as I am now, I never care
I always laugh out loud, hiding who I am
I always grin or laugh, while I'm hurt deep inside
But I never show anything and try to remain pride
I say I don't care but deep inside I do
Why don't I show my feelings, I'm such a fool
I cover the wounds of my heart and try to be so bright
But what I truly feel is buried deep inside
Never to be reminded again but It haunts me at night
Haunting me so, that I would be sleepless with fright..........
You and I were perfect together
That's what everyone said
I thought we would be together forever
But I guess that's not how it's meant
I lie awake at night thinking about you
Wondering if you are thinking of me too
There's something I've wanted to say since that day
I love you and miss you even more today
That day I smiled and said it's okay
But deep inside I was so far from okay
I was shocked and didn't know what to say
That feeling haunts to to this very day
The words you said replayed in my brain
The words you said put me in a pain
A pain in the heart that I can't repair
Without you, happiness has gone very rare
I think deeply about you every single day
Even when it makes me cry, I would always lay
And dream about you, wishing we were still together
You and I, I thought we were made for eachother
I guess I didn't know you enough, even for my sake
Do you know how many risks I had dared to take
I've spent everyday thinking how to say
I love you and miss you even more today
You were my everything and you still are
Even if you live far away, you've never felt far
I've spent every wish I could find on you
I wonder if those wishes will ever come true
When I see you I know exactly what I'll say
I love you and miss you even more today
I want to ask a question about the first set of lyrics. "When I speak as my true self, I can't bear it". Is this how you really identify with your true self? That when your true self speaks it's unbearable? Are you really aware of your true self? The self that drives your person? People say, many times "just be yourself", and it is not an easy task, for some reason. The funny thing is that the deception of self is a trick of perception. I found myself today, in meditation, saying "I am not me." What does this mean? It means what it says. "I am not me." Does this mean I am someone else? No. But "I am not me.". Me is perception. What I am is my self. if I pull me away from my self, it's very easy to see, what is meant by "true self.". Self in it's primitive, most beautiful form. Self with no boundaries. Sorry for babbling. Just the thing that struck me.
As for the second piece, don't be offended, but I didn't stay tuned very well. Plenty of sap in everyday life, for me. "I am not me." Still...lots of sap.
The first one.. should be title.. "A Fool" ^_^ but then again.. the title you got for it is very good as well... for the second one the title should be "I miss you" -_- yeah... I am not quite creative...I used to write poems when I was a teenager.. but has stopped..since I found myself repeating everything all over again..
NEED MORE TIME
I am sitting here alone, feeling death knocking on the door. I am not ready yet, just go away. I just want few minutes more to say good bye to the ones I love. Oh God, I tried to be good.
It was not my intention to be bad. Please, I beg you, give me time. One more chance, to undo my mistakes. It is not easy to accept the death is behind. I know I have to go, but I don't want to go now.
Second part....
Death just called me. Now it is too late to go back. Now I am dead. I feel sorrow, but now my soul is in peace. But I begged to be one more day alive. Now it is ok. I am happy that I said Bye.
