I don't know why, but i think unlike most of society. I believe in swift and cruel punishment, i plot against people, and my number one virtue is revenge. I've always been the number one target for the school bullies, but after i learned some basic magic, i was able to fight back. I highly enjoyed the sensation of making anyone who defies me miserable. I think I don't have a conscience, for I have never felt guilt, though I have stolen, scammed, and conned money and possesions from innocents. Is there something wrong with me?
You could be a psychopath I suppose. Alternatively, or also, you could be a great candidate for LaVeyan Satanism. Whatever way, love yourself for who you are :)
If you feel there is something wrong with you then try to do something to change the behaviors that make you feel there is something wrong with you. Perhaps starting with meditation and self reflection will help you to see you for who you really are. Praise the positive aspects of your self and be determined to change the negative influences in your self and your life.
First, so a cleansing or banishing. Negative enegeries might be clogging up your system. Think positive thoughts!!! Negative thoughts is always bad. Do some meditation. Stress can easily lead to your condition!! Lift that stress with yoga or meditation. Ground, center, focus. Stay positive.
There are no such things as morals and values in nature. It is purely a man made concept. There is no true "right" or "wrong", this again is man made. Only natural and unnatural can be identified. There is a place in nature for both light and dark, creators and destroyers. In the days of "warrior" civilizations of the past, you would have fit right in. It doesn't make you any less human or "normal", you are only outside of the "norm" of what modern society accepts.
If you are uncomfortable with the way you are, by all means, seek within yourself and make a change. If not, then don't worry about it. I would consider removing any illegal activity from your agenda for the sake of your own freedom though. However, I would never say there is something "wrong" with someone who listens to their carnal instincts.
I do agree, LaVey's Satanism is something you should check out.
you have antisocial personality disorder. as whiteraven said morals and ethics are man-made, you simply didn't develop a moral system like most people. I too have antisocial personality disorder. unlike you, however, I avoid illegal activities. I don't go out of my way to cause harm, I just don't care if someone else is being hurt. you cause the harm personally. truthfully, your's is closer to the natural state of if you can do it you should.
fiveup, i clearly remember you mentioning your strongest element is fire. Like other elements fire generates different energies. It can be protective, guiding, enlightening, warming and purifying. But it can also be destructive, scalding and blinding.
Is it wrong that you're letting the destructive energies of this element get the better of you? That's not for me to say. But if you're questioning it, then you need to look deeper.
Like you, i'm leo and I know rage and understand the emotion that triggers revenge. But someone very wise once said that an eye for an eye would make the world blind. And loss of sight is the last thing I need. The law of the universe says that you get what you've dished out. So while negativity may bring you instant gratification, it will hurt you in the future.
I'm sorry that you got bullied. It's a horrible, soul shattering and degrading experience. Use your fire to protect yourself before harm comes your way. This way you will lower your chances of being bullied. And if negative thoughts like revenge cross your mind, raise the water element in you and give yoourself the chance to cool down, before making your next move.
Allow me to let you in on something. Nothing is more gratifying than watching a wrong doer stew in his own karma. Like I said, if someone does something, right or wrong, it comes back. By taking revenge, you will teach a wrong doer a lesson or two, but you will also be taking his negative deeds or karma onto your head, which you will pay for.
If you're ok with that, then it's cool. If not, then rethink your strategy. Damage done is damage done. You cant undo the past but you can create your future.
