Am I magic?

First of all I am new to the forum. I have often visited sites to lose weight or sign a form so a medium/ witch can do it for me. Which to no avail worked. I'm not meaning eating lards of fat and expecting a miracle. I mean going on about my daily routine and even changing say rice to brown rice as a change. I don't think into it much and the thought leaves my mind.

Now I'm very open that there is more to this universe that meets the eye. I have been taught that from a very young age. Not by my mother and father that are divorced but from relatives. I am what you call a new age gypsy or that's what I like to call myself. My family has been settled in houses for a few generations now and both my mum and dad are gypsys. If I were to live by the rule of what you see on my big fat gypsy wedding I would have been thrown to the Wolves along time ago by the fact I have what we Scottish not Irish called Scaldies if I am pronouncing it right and I have a 8 year old daughter with him that the gypsys would call a half boiled buck. Or a halfie don't ask me why they call them that and to outsiders I have been told it sounds offensive and I have to agree.

I believe you should be able to make your own choices in life and marry who you like. Work if you like. Most but not all travelling men expect their wife and daughters if old enough to to womanly duties and expect a meal on the table when they get home. Boys go and do heavy lifting paving with their dads showing them and rearing them that when they hit 16 they to will have their own caravan and wife and that is the travelling way. For settlers like myself we know how to talk the gypsy language and 90% of us including me is Catholic even though I rarely visit a church. However 40% of our descendants or distant descendants hate the fact that we have come into the new age where children should not get a education and woman are there for breeding, sometimes to take their anger out of and should tend to their every whim.

Why am I telling you this you say. Well during my childhood I have had plenty of a old woman comment on how dark I am. Meaning my hair and faintly tanned skin. My dark brown eyes have lightened since I'm older but my hair colour has stayed the same and my skin is no longer as tanned. I get it from my dad to this day you would think he was Spanish or some orient origin. My mother though is as light as they come but evil in nature and evil in spirit. I won't go into to much detail but I was beaten heavily as a child once for just saying I missed my dad. When I eventually found out parents should not act like this I moved straight into my dads when I was 15 to much as my mums pleading she was told I was old enough to make my own mind up. After hearing the news my dad opened a bottle of bubbly to celebrate he had no longer had to deal with her and plead for her for him to see me.

As I was saying old gypsies when I used to visit distant relatives in Fife of my cousins they would say I have the mark. They used to ask to see my hands. Nothing is ever simple with me the lines on my hands cross over and there are hundreds of them and I have been given a vague telling however I was in the middle of primary school and thought nothing of it. A bunch of hocus pocus but my fav day is Halloween I love it. My fav tv shows are of the supernatural. Actually that is the name of my fav shows. I did have 300-400 books of all different kind of supernatural stories or series and I keep a list of my fav authors for when they realise a new book. As a child I remember watching the hammer horrors under the duvet but my eyes glued to the tv and would end up sleeping with the light on.

It could have started when I was younger going to Fife and living in caravans for the summer hols not my mums but her sisters who very do fit your average gypsy but settled even though their children my age have intertwined the two shall I say. We would hear stories of Tam O Shanter and how a traveller would be walking along near the banks at the dead of night and the devil would appear before him asking him if there was anything in the world he could wish for and he said for my family to have the finest house and the finest dresses without a care about money. The Devil said are you sure You would sell your soul for that and he said absolutely. Done the devil said. The man looks at his wares and rags and says but what about ME I'm still standing here. The devil replied you wished your family the wealth but nothing was said about you. For have you not forgotten that family is all the riches you need. The boy said I was at the inn 2 miles back and they told me you lurked here and how the devil can trick you into trickery as many a man will want riches Devil but I asked that of my family not for myself so you old brute you won't be getting a soul tonight. The story ended there. I take it he went back home and got his share of wealth. I think the meaning of the story is to think of others and the trickery of the most notorious trickster of all the devil. I won't ever forget that story. Even though it had a happy ending it did keep me up at night.

Anyway now you know a bit about me. Being young I was told I may have a bit of magic in my blood. It's certainly not Palm reading. I have stared at a crystal ball and just seen my relextion. Could it be spells. I have heart heartidly done a few when I wanted my boyband crush to read a letter from me since I sent tons. And before you judge I was a very young girl and loved pj and Duncan. I then don't one for a house by holding a key the spell said and to think about a house. At this point I was desperate for any house and ended up getting this one a couple of months later.

I'm now going to lose the house as its rented at 750 pounds a month. We have outgrown the house anyway even though it's away from the serious drug users we had no choice living next to due to the fact that when our litte one came along we had to sell the one bedroom and could not put money down for a 2 house bedroom as was above his paygrade. However if we put up for the run down building he would have gotten this good paying actually excellent paying job and bought one. However we thought we would have had a bit more time and both of us did our driving lessons and bought cheapish cars which we have had no luck with. No matter where we get a car something goes wrong with it or something needs fixed in the privately rented house. And now due to oil decline my partner and I are losing are jobs on the 27th of March. And we have a lease to pay for here to August. I am beside myself with worry. He's a contractor who will come in and order the goods for the rigs. And with no new jobs In the pipeline it's taking its toll on him and me since I've lost my classmate since primary at aged 30. My health is not good. I need to lose a few stone, being comfortable can make you gain weight. I have had no luck at all. I have tried minimum budgets on lottery tickets etc. My love life is a shambles. Basically all the key issues people seek to sites they are me.

My question is being who I am does that give me greater not power as such. I find power a horrible word but will it aid me better in magic in spells. I did a money spell just as I came onto your site it was on your site but for a job instead of wealth itself. I don't know if it will work. I did not do it for me but for my other half. Then I realised wow this site has a forum. People I can tell my story to and won't be judged. It's never happened for me to come across a site of spells without testimonials if you buy this now it will change your life and thinking is the testimonials real. Or do you have to have the magic within you to work. I was thinking about all the methods I have tried and I have yet to try tarot cards or proper spells that will indicate I might have it in me. I have came across people who say magic chooses them even if they don't know it or you simply don't have it. Then I have came across people who say magic is in all of us you just need to channel it. Who is right? Do I have magic?

Thank you for your time to reading to what I would call a book. I look forward reading your answers.

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Everybody has magic; it is within you, and within Nature.Nothing mysterious or supernatural about it. Magic is as natural as breathing! And, if you wish to lose weight, eat less,exercise more.It is not a secret!

Maybe not eat less since you need to give your body enough energy to exercise. You should check with a doctor to see what will be good for you to do, and start with that doctor's advice since you may have to follow a certain routine to be healthy. You could make daily shakes to get your metabolism going and to give you energy for workouts. There's a lot of options out there you just need to do some research on how to lose weight.

Oh I do this and much more. I am a meal skipper and a night girl. I tend to get my hunger pangs at night. So I have to force myself to have a shake in the morning or afternoon. These go don't go over 130 cals. I will then stick with 100g of lean meat or fish. Usually fish as meat takes longer to digest and 200g once boiled/steamed veg by then I still have a few calories left. Actually a good few. So since I have not have the recommended 2 snacks a day I either steal myself a bit of fruit or better yet if it's a banana have it on some ryvita toast. I call it toast but it tastes like cardboard unless you have something low cal on it. To be honest I have lost a stone since the beginning of the year and that's without exercise which I plan to do once I get rid of bloodclots in my leg. I have that in check. As I said spells can only work if you are willing to work with them. They might give you that boost of power even though the spell I incanted was not a legit spell I think it helps the open minded like me get through the willpower.

Now there's things we can control and things we can't control. It's the things we can't control can a spell help. I know my partner is hurting. Which I did the job spell for him. However I am no witch/Wiccan or practising persons. However being open minded of them helps a lot unlike my partner who sadly thinks when we die we die. Me I would like to think their is a god. Maybe not our God maybe some other religions. Heck maybe gods that have died or one we have not heard of. Just somebody that can say "hey welcome to the otherside" whatever that otherside is. Some people says it's the same as earth but is more vibrant. Some say duller. Some say light pure light in the books I have read in coma patients and those who have passed away. Me I passed away twice. All due to a Miscarrisge that went wrong. Drs sent me home saying I was young enough around 10 years ago I kept getting sicker and sicker. I could not eat. Went down to a size 8. Had a feeding tube. My blood was septic everything had to be given IV I had kidney failure. Bacteria in the heart valve. Clots in my lungs and legs and loads more. The Miscarrisge had broken off and infected parts of me. I had to stay in for 4 months. I had visions of a man with a wild heard who certainly was not God on this purple door that led to the bathroom since I had my own room. Maternity eventually sent my notes and a gyno came up verified the sack was still there. My whole family had already been up that day the nurse said she's so out of it she won't know. I did know. I seen my now partner asking what he was doing at one in the morning I was ignored. I was asked to sign a sheet to go into a induced coma to give my lungs a break and get the sack out. I reluctently signed it I just got fed up of the popping and prodding and to be honest was exhausted. Death was a realise for me. So I said to them. I won't let you put me to sleep but you can't resusitate during the operation. I was resusitated 3 times on that table. I felt brand new when I woke up and had stern words with the surgeon. He said you already signed do resusitate I was just nodding my head. I knew I might have complications but I have yet to lose a young person on my table. Your stubborn I will give you that but your 20. Theres no way I'm not going to save your life. Thinking back on that night I woke up without a clue that I went through that ordeal. Did I go to a different place or was I only gone a few seconds to find out like the books I read or were the books a lot of baloney.

If everyone can be magic like a comment pointed out. Are you meaning the magic of trees going and how ones heart can beat without any batteries. We know nerves and cells do this but what operates them. And if you've got a Answer what operates the other answer. I think it's magic we as beings are magic and if you can channel it in the right way then maybe you can save your family from sinking. However even though I have heard my name called out 4 times in my life my full name nobody calls me Samantha it creeps me out. It first happened when I was 8 in my room. I'm a only child or I am to my mum. The 2nd was when I waa 12 in the bathroom. The 3rd waa in my twentiea around 21 and the last a few years ago. I'm now 30.

My first experience of true fright was when I was little. I had these two same dreams. One was when I dreamt my doll was on top of my cupboard and walking around but not being evil. To me though it was scary and it would ask me things about myself I never got the full dream. I woke up to find my black cat lucky standing there that knocked over a black brush but the doll on top of the cupboard and not with my other toys. The 2nd dream was when I sneaked into my mums bed and the same doll was peering through the door at me saying do you want to play peek a boo same again in a non violent way. I woke up again with a start my mum said have you seen my brush I had a dream about a brush. I got out of bed and there was the doll that I placed on my rocking horse. In the coarse of the night I remember slightly looking at the horse and it was rocking I told myself it was just breeze and went back to sleep. It was a big rocking horse but still one so I was quite young and there the doll was lying beside the corner direct from the door with the brush beside it. That's when I got scared. My mother was not that bad to me at that age. Gave me all the toys I put on the list from Santa. I just don't knoe what happened by the age of 11-15 when I finally had enough. She told me it was just a dream. I might have walked out my bed and placed it there. And then I told her about the other dream. I'm like mum how can I reach the top of the cupboard. She told me to stop being silly and if the doll scared me that much she would get rid of it and she did. It's only retelling the story did the black brush appear in the same two dreams I realised just a normal round hairdrying brush. However once the doll was given to a friend my mum was friends with did I not have strange dreams. My mother told me when I was older I would forget about it and if I did remember it shake it off. I still remember it and it gives me the creeps. It was two years later I heard that voice. I remember as my mum and her brother scraped off the wallpaper all to find out after half redecorating that she managed to get a exchange nearer where she was brought up and had lots of cousins etc there. Anyway the reasonable explanation I couod think of the was my nbr Ryan who would send me innocent Valentine cards even though I still thought boys as icky. I wish I did now save me a whole load of bother. My mum went right round and said your son gave my daughter a fright by whispering her name at the window as he lived a few doors down. However Ryan being brought up different www still up and in his pjs. I knew the voice never came from the window it did not seem to come from any direction. Anyway I got into bed asking for the light to be kept on. I don't know if you've ever stated at a wall but the bare wall still had patches of plaster on it and was a yellow colour. I used to look at that I wall as I had a habit of lying upside down on the bed instead where the headrest was. I remember it to this day this brown horrible headrest. My mum said to me one night get back up there sleep properly. This was about a week after the whispering. Now instead of visioning shapes etc out of the bits of plaster this mans face who I never seen before in colour as well came before me. However just his head. And he wore a hat which is strange as your meant to be wearing hats on top of your head not to the side. I screamed the place down.

My mum knows I only tell the odd porkie now and then if it gets me into trouble but something white like no I stole the juice that sort of thing. To this day I don't lie. It gets you nowhere and have actually witnessed people believing their own lies. My moyher included. The only time I feel it's acceptable to lie is to my daughter about certain things and to friends when they wear something that they should not be wearing. If I'm at their house getting ready even better as I can get round it and say you know what this top goes a whole lot better with those jeans and there no lies have to be made.

Anyway it happens my mum already booked herself in with a medium and is so good it takes ages for a gap to open worse than seeing a bloody GP here in the uk. She's still well known one who do this day still does readings but is really old and frail now and getting a appointment with her now is hard. I want a reading from her but hospital visits etc she's had to rearrange appointments and has I was told over 100 waiting and got told from my friend who seen her said she moat prob will be dead by the time she gets through them. Anyway my mum got her reading. Was told she would date many men but in order for it to suceed the relationships would need to be a two way thing and the fact that she's still in love with my dad is not helping manners and needs to let go of the past. Thats all she got when she played the tape back to her friends. There was more to it but I'm trying to be brief which I am not very good at when typing. It's one of my many faults lol. Anyway on the tape I heard she asked you have only one child a daughter. She has a gift. I don't know what gift it is. Gifts can come in many forms. I'm seeing visions of her cutting things out of a magazine and my mum said that will be her clippings she keeps from her girl mags of the singers she likes and is planning to put them on her wall. Well tell her not to move her tv by herself. She could do a lot of damage. I also have a man here Stewart is his name I'm getting Stewart. Now there are Stewart's in my dads side of family and Stewart's in my mums side of family. He wears a uniform with a army hat. Don't ask me the regiment I'm not good at that and he says it's not important. He says he used to play with her when she was a baby but as she got older she can't see him anymore. He said gave her a fright. He thought she might have had some memories of him from when she was a baby to toddler and the medium Mary said there is some children that can see things that we can't which might explain why I said gift. He said he is sorry for doing that and he tried to show her as best as he could what he looked like but it had given her even more of a scare so he won't be bothering her anymore and to tell her that he is family and looks and will continue to look into you. After hearing that I was more scared as ever according to a medium who basically the reading was for my mum ended up about me and this ghostly man is looking after me. Was it him that said my name 3 times after. My gran died just at 65 from cancer. Even though I lived with my dad every weekend I was there and even before that when my mum would not let ME see my dad she would always take me over to my grandparents. Then when I started to work in Aberdeen as My dad lived in portlethen we would sleep in the same bed together. Her my auntie Sylvia who is also dead were my rocks. My auntie died at 37 in the back of a taxi as she was training for her new job. Phoned her cousin who just by luck lived beside the training building left her car got in a taxi to g docs but collapsed mid journey and the taxi driver was quick enough knowing she needed to go to A&E. My auntie perfectly healthy died in the back of The taxi even though they spent a fair amount of time trying to bring her back. My gran who lost a son due to cancer when he was 7 was distraught at the time she had to be hospitalised. She finally got better as she realised she had two more kids at home who needed her. 2 short years later she died of cancer. I missed her death by 4 hours.. She had my dad at 16 and my dad had me at 19 my mother being 2 years older. I dream of them a lot. In my dream though they don't say anything. It's just this past while that I have woken my partner up. Once to tell him my gran says I'm going to undergoe two sugeries. I have found out my bowels are not functioning properly and I have a DVT in my lung as well as my legs but it's small and I'm being reffered as the last time I got a bloodclot due to my miscarrisge the Heprin injection worked. These Rivaroxiban tablets seem to get rid of the clot entirely. That's since 2013. So it could be that. As I need to see haematology to see if changing tablets will help. My mouth bleeds with just eating on them and if you search for the leaflet some people bleed out their eyes and ears or any orrifice on them. They are scary pills and not much is known about them due to them being fairly new.

Anyway getting back to trouble my mum being a single parent of a only child she was always looking for love problem is they would see her true self and be off and I would say why is Gordon not helping me with my fractions. To this day she is single and still up to her shananigans. I don't know if I told u on my post but she took curtains over £350 ones out in my name at her address. Made her own email address for me. Gave me a mobile number which I am sure is fake with 666 being in the numbers. I had not seen that woman in 11 years and I phoned the police once the debt agency got hold of her ( I have no debt) yes I have a credit card. And 4 catalogues. I order something small from time to time to keep them active as you never know what's round the corner especially now. I did have debt but that was in my teens and needed a life lesson on money but for the past 5 year after paying them all and 60% I did not have to pay as the rule in Scotland is 5-6 years if you have not aknowledged the debt when they come looking for you it's written off. I paid it have paid it though so I can have good things in life and a brighter future. Even when I was younger she took things out in my name. This catalogue called studio. I was none of the wiser I got this bankie that a skeleton would pop out and put your coins in its pocket. It was exciting for me to get new things. Now I'm older I know this is totally wrong. We had a old man Jim bless his soul he is probably dead by now. She used to take his pension and take money out in his name to catalogues to and give him a allowance for his own tobacco. Omg. He eventually got out. I remember him saying it was a pleasure to look after you. Your mum only needs people. Once she has people around her she discards the other person. I asked him where he was going to go and he said I'm off to get my own house. I was 12. If I had that little bit older I would have told him I would come visit and my mother would not know a thing. That man was part of my life before I was 2 right up until I was 12. How can you just throw aside and use someone like that.

About the stuff she took out in my name when I got the letter in less than a year ago the police said identity theft is not a crime in Scotland and would only go to court if I was in financial hardship meaning getting government money and being made to pay for it back. I was outraged. No wonder my dad opened bubbly when I went to live with him. I have moved to what I call the subarbs to get away from negativity and you'll always see someone that knows what your mum is doing. Last I heard she moved into a old age community. She's 58 and quite active. I have bloodclots just like her. I guess I have a part of her in me in some ways I would remember her saying such and such is coming to access my mobility. You have to pretend to help me up from the sofa and say you cook the meals and get me ready. Any benefit she's entitled to she will take it. I'm entitled to working tax credits and child credita at the moment With the situation I am in I dont take them.

The thing double trouble which is what I call them is one of them phoned the catalogue and admitted my debt. I have a lisp. It's very hard to pull off many have tried and failed. I only got the number on the 2nd letter they sent after phoning the first letter. The Lady said I cannot see any connection to you living there. You've always notified the bank etc if you move anywhwre. I'm going to talk to my manager about this after I told Her what she did when I was a child taking catalogues out on old tennants her lodger even her own mother. Which she tried to say it was me. I don't even know her address in Glasgow when my nana lived there and most companies will want you to be with them a while before shipping goods to another place. So the lady said she will talk to her boss and hopefully the catalogue does what it says on the tin and records convos for training purposes since by that time we spoke quite a lot. She did actually become a second friend at one point and I relayed some of the details I have put on here and she was horrified and said that I could still take her to court for putting me under so much anxiety and I would get the debt exsponged and maybe compensated but for £350 something it would cost a hell of a lot more on lawyer fees. If me and my partner loses his job maybe that's what I will do. Not as revenge but for her to be to scared to do this again.

Jeez this has turned into me asking if I hsve actual spiritual magic in me and has ended up a biography of my life. I do feel I have something in me that's waiting to be channeled. Could it be I can slightly feel a presence like I feel my grans. When she had the cancer she said if you see a little robin know it is me. I take taken that as a grain of salt. I told her to come up with something better but not to materialize Infront of me I would not take that Well. Then she said ok whenever your lights flicker its me. I could just be saying hi or you could ask a question 1 flicker for no to make it hard and two for yes. Since then 3 of my houses since she died I have had to stalk up on long lasting bulbs. One night we had no electricity in the house we just moved in and was yet to change the meter and go direct debit so we were stuck with this key you had to go to the shop to buy electricity. And outside beside the playpark the bulb in went to light orange and black. We got the 24/7 shop and I kept watching this lamp as my partner put in the keycard and the outside lamp stopped and was just Its natural white shine colour.

And I don't mean just flickering happens to just one place of the 3 houses all miles within one another. It happens all over the house. I've had electricians in and no faulty wires. Especially with this house. Every month we are buying bulbs for different rooms. The Only room Thats not affected is my daughters. And I'm not scared at all. My battery powered carbon monoxide detector was continuously going off. I phoned the gas company they ordered all of us to go outdoors. My daughter said granny said we should stay inside where its warm. It's just the bloody batteries. Granda used to buy cheap rechargeable ones I was always changing them and charging them. I do have a battery charger and it's true I've learned from his lesson you may pay through the nose for them but you do get your money's worth. She said grandma is funny. Is bloody a bad word. I said it all depends on how you express it. If your having a laugh then no but if its to say something really nasty then yes. It did turn out to be the batteries. She was 5 when that happened she is 8 and has no memory of it. She would also tell ME my great granny is the one with all the dogs. I was like yes that's right. There's this huge dog. He likes me. And a smaller one who ignores me and she always Carrys this dog with long hair. Which is called dusty and she knew it's name. She said that dog had no teeth because of you and granny said she had to go but you would tell her how the dog got called dusty and has no teeth but I do know she's 23. Is that old for a dog. I tried to get as much info as I couod. Those photos were never out of storage and the dogs were never in the same photo. The big dog she described was dandy. And the dog that ignored her did not have much time for me when I was young maybe because he was old and Was also called dandy but I remember big dandy being born around when I was 5 he was a huge dog but as a puppy I would sit him on the swing with me. Dusty got her name after being found in a bin and lived for a long time. We are not sure of her exact age but they had her for 23 years and was a little long haired toy Yorkie and I fed her so much sweets as a toddler and child all her teeth needed to come out and I would pretend to hit my granny and sylvia and she would try to bite you. The same vice versa. For my daughter to come out with that is surreal. I ask her every now and then do you remember granny with the dogs and she now says no everytime. I'm lucky I have pics of her and my gran as she passed away when my daughter was 1.

Anyway I'm sorry I have gotten off of coarse. I have written a different huge long story as some of the comments have been about weight and yes I know healthy eating is the way to do that. What I really need for you guys was to listen to my story. I have not practised magic even though I find it compelling. I just don't know if I have the abilities to try it. What would I start off doing to see if it works I know I might not get my first spell right away magic is not like in the movies where it works right away. It may take days weeks months to manifest. Looking at the forum I'm lost at what most say as I don't have a coven. I just have been told I have the mark whatever that means and if it means I can do something good with it not just for me but helping others then I would like to give it a try. Having the gypsy blood in me I'm told is a good start. So if anyone can be any help at all maybe steer me towards the right books. Or a name of some good tarot cards or even a site that can help me know if I can do something and I'm not a waste in this world.

MissVampy,I was meaning a balanced, healthy diet. Just less of it.Then you would lose weight.