Recently, due to my own actions, my boyfriend has broken up with me. I've been working on my spirituality and beliefs, and I decided to expand into magic with intent, as opposed to just rituals aimed at gratitude. I practice my spirituality by myself, and to some people it would appear I just make it up as I go. Truthfully, I don't think there's any one true path, and that's why I feel everyone should practice alone. I don't, however, judge those that feel otherwise.
So I've been casting simple spells designed to influence him to love me again, to break down the barrier between us, take away his anger and negative feelings toward me. It's only been a week since we broke up, and I have to remind myself when I get frustrated.
Overall, I manage to stay positive and since I put out my intent that all of these spells WILL work, I'm able to believe that. Most of the time.
What I'm looking for is companionship I suppose. I have no one I can discuss issues of love that involve magic, so I thought I'd try here. I'll be grateful for conversation or any advice you may have to offer, and I do have one question: He said that he feels a little guilty when he says things that *might* be mean, which isn't that reassuring, but better than nothing. I know that trying to make him feel more guilt via magic would be more of a harmful thing, but it would, of course help my case. Can I get some input on that?
I am new here too, I just joined today. I believe as you do that there is no one true path. Spirituality is a very personal path and each must find their own way, their own truth. That being said, I am sorry to hear of your recent break up. You wrote that it was due to your own actions, not knowing the situation the only advice I can give is perhaps you should focus your spells on yourself, to become the person you wish to be, not on him. That is messing with his free will and could dangerously backfire on you. Communication is the best way to break any walls that he has put up, and if he is hurting then he may need time to heal.
Having been in a situation where I had no control or escape, I would never try to do that to another, with their emotions and thoughts... (my situation was much different then yours, but the rule for me is still the same with anything... Would I want someone to do that to me?)
As for love, I can sense your heartbreak and loneliness, but don't let yourself fall into desperation, where we tend not to think clearly and lose focus of what is truly important. Sending much light and love your way with the hope you will find happiness. Blessed Be.
Thanks for your reply. I didn't want to tell my whole life's story, but I'll elaborate a little more. It's not that I even need spells to make myself a better person. I know exactly what to do, and I'm doing it now. There was a lot of discord in our relationship that I couldn't see until we separated. Little things I was ridiculously ugly about, so many times that I simply didn't make any effort to not give a lazy and not so kind reaction. One example is about paying a bill. He needed log in info to pay a bill that was split across his and my credit cards. I had sent him the information, and when he needed it again a month later, instead of just giving it to him, I was more focused on why the hell he didn't just write it down or something??? He's not an idiot by any means, wasn't doing that to annoy me, and wouldn't have asked if he didn't need it. I saw this exchange when I went looking for a weblink for the payment site in my email yesterday, and was horrified to see how ugly I'd been.
So I think some of those things, I had to step back to be able to see. As far as changing his will, I do believe there is hope that we can be together again. He hasn't ruled it out, but doesn't want to talk about now, just wants us to focus on still being friends who encourage each other to improve ourselves. Out of necessity we still live in the same house, and much of our daily interaction hasn't changed. This might be problematic for some, and if I truly thought there was no hope, it would be for me. But I firmly believe that by making improvements to myself that I've needed to improve for YEARS, and giving him time to reclaim his pre-me routine, have some time away from a stressful relationship, we will be able to come together again. If he didn't believe there was a chance of that at all, he would've done far more to completely sever ties between us.
So in my spellwork I am mostly attempting to fertilize seeds that are already there, not plant something brand new. I know how his mind works when it comes to things like this, and I know that he will put a barrier to protect himself from unpleasant things. So I've also focused on trying to penetrate that barrier enough so that he will see that what's on the other side isn't there to harm him. He did admit shortly after he said that right now he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me, that he would like it if we could go back to the beginning. So attempting to influence his thoughts of forgiveness, compassion, and reconciliation also aren't really forcing his will. I've been very careful to avoid any sort of controlling of will type of spell, because I believe any dark magic practiced will return darkness to the practitioner.
Just my thoughts on the way things are at the moment. :)
