Why is Wicca So Hard?

I have encountered so many numerous disenheartening Wiccans that make the religion seem so sour. All they do is argue and can't agree on anything. There's no peace in it, and all it is is proving who can win an Internet argument. They want to make the religion so exclusive, difficult, and elitist that they are shoving new members out. I really wish the community wasn't so full of know-it-alls. I am overall very disappointed at my own religion. :/

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I really wish it wasn't this way. I got involved in Wicca online to find a sense of community, not be shunned by it. Sorry, just venting.

I'm sorry you feel that way; but I understand it. Most of the arguments come from the young! And of the various "new" paths of Wicca. The original Gardnerian Wicca has been very much changed over the years. It is why I tell youngsters to go to the original writings first; instead of the later writings such as Scott Cunningham. The original Wicca does have its "secret" rituals and ceremonies; but so does every religion!
As I am not Wiccan myself, I cannot say much about the beliefs. But we have a Moderator who is well versed in the original Wicca. Her name is Lark, and I am sure she would offer help to you.

I've just been told by some fellow Wiccans that my religion is a phony and I can't really be Wiccan. They want me to drive however many miles to a coven of strangers to get "initiated." Being a broom closeted witch still living with my parents this simply isn't possible.

I am sorry you've been treated so poorly by the community, but I've noticed the meaner the Wiccan the less they know [and usually the younger they are]

There really isn't a wrong way to practice Wicca [unless you're pro animal sacrifice or something] thanks to the openness of the religion there are millions of paths. British Traditional Wicca [or BTW] is the one Gerald Gardner founded and is most steeped I'm secrecy and tradition. That one requires you study under a teacher I'm the coven for a year and a day before you may be initiated into the coven [then study another year and a day to move up to second degree and again for third] many people find it discouraging so they go with [or make up] their own path. [Examples include Alexandrian Wicca, , Celtic Wicca, Dianic Wicca, Dragonic Wicca, Eclectic Wicca, Fae Wicca, and Saxon Wicca just to name a few]

You should begin with the history and read what you can on various paths. If you're lucky to find a non fiction book by Gardner you're lucky, if not, look for one of his students like Doreen Valiente, Alex Sanders or Raymond Buckland. Scott Cunningham is an amazing source but he preaches a more personal form of Wicca many new members flock to.

I was recently speaking with my friend and I mentioned how my first book was Wicca for Life by Raymond Buckland and he said he felt sorry for me and that Cunningham was his first and was way better. We discussed it for a bit and figured out Buckland was 'this is the way you should do it in my path' while Cunningham was more 'this works for me but do what you feel'. Both are fine views but starting out I feel you need a teacher with clear definitions. Cunningham would say things like 'I define' or 'I feel' while Buckland would say 'An athame is this.' Or 'you cast a circle like this' and then later in the book he would mention [after you practiced his way] you can make the ritual more personal if you're solitary.

Also, there's a difference between initiation and dedication. An initiation is you entering a coven, a dedication is you dedicating yourself to the path and your deities. You don't need a coven to dedicate yourself. However, not everyone will see you as a 'true Wiccan' if you're not initiated into a coven, but that only matters if you define 'true Wiccan' as being in a coven. There really isn't such a thing as 'true Wiccan' outside of what you define it in your head. I recommend you read a reliable beginners guide and decide for yourself what the Rede means, what 'harm' means, what's right and wrong, what the Threefold Law means, and make a 'code of conduct'. Work on it all year then when you do dedicate yourself, present this to the Lord and Lady as your standard. Many people read 'as in harm none, do as ye wilt' and go 'don't hurt anyone' then go around making fun of new members and casting any spell they want. Figure out for yourself and stick to it. One day, if you find a coven to join, study under them, but for now do your best.

I've seen a lot of this too where one tradition won't recognize the legitimacy of another. Because Catholic christians came first, does that make protestant christianity an illigitimate form of the religion? Its not just wicca, other religions are this way too. I'm sure you've heard about islamist sectarian violence in the middle east. Joining a Gardnerian coven is not an option for everyone, and as long as people aren't fluffifying the religion there is no need for this kind of back biting.

The issue is that different forms of Christianity all involve the same God at the end of the day. Wicca is a British tradition involving a moon goddess and the horned god, Draconic Wicca for example replaces those with dragons, Faerie Wicca uses a misunderstood form of the faery myth. It isn't Wicca.

Dianic Wicca only focuses on the Goddess, and is not Wicca.

The only two forms of Wicca which I am aware of are Alexandrian and Gardnerian, the rest are just forms of witchcraft, it isn't that they aren't valid in their own right, they just aren't Wicca.

Start out with the books recommend. I had very little guidance at fist and the first book I read stated to reach the 3rd level or degree in a Coven I had to have sex with another Coven members. Being very happily married I almost stopped seeking out information. The book i was reading has never been mentioned as a reliable source of Wiccan teachings on this or any other site. But i was able to get some good advice as far as meditation and grounding goes. While I do not claim to be Wiccan I do follow and believe many of their beliefs and think they are an amazing religion. Read the original founders books and decide for yourself. Do not base a decision to follow a path you believe in based on it's other followers. We are all human and make mistakes. People will understand things differently even if they read the same thing. Which is why many Wiccan's do believe belonging to a Coven is very important because tradition and teachings are passed down.

Wicca in view is the catholic path of the pagan umbrella. They have a lot of ceremonies, they have a lot of rules which you don't have to follow but recommend you do, textbook wicca has a specific god/goddess.

This is all text book though in recent years many wiccans are more eceletic and tend to stick to the rede and then they do what they like with the rest of it.

Unfortunetly as with all religions there is conflict with it, you just have to rise above it and get on with your own path and you'll find your way. try not to let others get you down.

Thanks guys. I can already see that this site has a much better community, which makes going at it alone a lot easier. The other one wanted me to be "Dedicative Religious Witchcraft" or something. It was truly awful, but the harassment was mainly from Gardnerian Wiccans (sorry if I spelled that wrong) who were much older and claimed to have tons of experience. In the end, I just asked for them to kick me. :/