I'm thirteen, and I had a doctors appointment for the first time in two years.
When the doctor was listening to my heart, she noticed a murmur. It could be that I was just scared and my heart was pounding and shaking a little, or just hereditary (mom and grandmother have ones that don't mean anything), or it could be a leak that will kill me. This is all really hard for me, I'll have to go to a cardiologist this Monday! I'm seriously freaked out! Please, if you know anything of any help let me know. Or if you could just provide support. Please respond!!!
The greatest good anyone can do for you, is yourself. Try not to think about it too much and if you do, try to think of it in a positive manner like: "Meh, it's just something that goes away by itself" and try healing yourself. Imagine a bright ball of energy in your chest. A bright blue, ball of healing energy that you have stored in you at all times. Harvest that energy to heal anything that you want. I find this very helpfull every time something hurts, or is wrong in any way. We all have the potential to heal ourselves to an extent. Of course, If you loose an arm you will probably not be able to fix that. But untill they find out what exactly it is, you can try doing that. Positivity and confidence is what makes us strong and durable. And our body reacts to that. Stress and negativity makes us weak and prone to influence from outside. As long as you have will and confidence, you are okay ;)
I can definitely understand how scary things like that could be, Facing the unknown can be really daunting, especially when doctors are involved as they aren't always that good at explaining things, or at least just saying what is going on, what they are going to do, or why.
From what I understand, heart murmur's aren't terribly uncommon, and a pretty low percentage can be classed as a risk, and even fewer still are actually dangerous. A couple tests should be able to help the doctors nail down what is going on for you, and that way you will be armed with things you can do to avoid any complications and prevent it from changing over the many future years of your life.
Just don't be afraid to ask questions, and feel free to learn as much as you can about your heart, how it works, and of course about the diagnosis itself once they have one after the tests. Knowledge is a powerful tool in dispelling fear. The more you understand about what is happening, the more you will be able to be proactive about it to have some control over the situation.
I'm sorry to hear that you're dealing with this, I would imagine it's quite upsetting.
In regards to your concern, as unhelpful as it may seem, try to stay calm and do some deep breathing. Medical conditions can be scary, and it's natural to feel anxious while waiting for a diagnosis, but getting upset will just make things harder. In my experience, the deep breathing method helps immensely, (breathe in through your nose, hold it for 5-7 seconds, and then exhale through your mouth), as does the 5-4-3-2-1 method, (focus on finding 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can smell, 2 things you can hear, and one thing you can taste).
If these things don't help, I'd suggest talking to your parents and doctors. While it may be uncomfortable to reach out, your mom or someone may have facts that can help things seem less scary.
It's best not to think about too much since it might cause stress and stress can make it worse so I think every time you are getting stressed about it why not meditate?
