Hello, I've been into witchcraft and paganism for about a year now. At one point 5 months ago, I tried to come out, but I tried to avoid words such as witchcraft and wicca. Eventually I realized I technically didn't even come of the broom closet. But now I feel brave enough to actually come out. Before I try anything though I wanted your advice on how to break the news for real. My parents are strict Christians and they have been questioning my faith already. I dont wanna hurt my parents' feelings though so I'm wondering if I should just not even do it at all. If you have any help, I'd love to know. Blessed Be )O(
Greetings! When I was about 13 or 14, I had been practicing for about a year prior to this event. I figured it would be a lot easier to practice if I was out of the proof closet, as it should be. My parents were strict Christians too but at the time I didn't really know it. I prepared helpful videos for them to understand what I was into and how they can learn to accept having a witch as a daughter. Much to my chagrin, they grounded me, took everything away from me. I cried for nights trying to pray for forgiveness to a god o didn't believe in. So if I were you, don't.
However, that's my experience. Every parent is different. You can come out to them all you want and I wish you the best and that they're accepting. Or you do what I do and wait. I still practice but at twilight when everyone is asleep. I'll never be able to tell them. I hope this provides you with some insight on your situation with my experience. I wish you the best luck.
while they may be strict, they love you. i know some people would go to extremes for their faith [say kick you out and disown you] do you feel your parents are like that? or is it something they would get really mad at, possible force you to church every sunday and ban you from anything witchcraft related? [if it's the second option i would go for it. if it's the first, i would look into whether or not i could support myself on my own and what options i have in that case]
as scary as it is, if you are to tell them, i would make a little note/list of frequently asked questions, answers, and a few sources to look at for more information. sit them down and ask them to listen to you until you're finished, then you will do the same [no interrupting] be sure to also pick the time just right. [a time where everyones calm and in a good mood instead of the second your parents walk in the door after a stressful day] they may say no right away, so ask them to make a compromise, like ask them to read the links before giving their final answer, or agree to go to church with them if you're aloud to celebrate the moons/seasons.
While it is always risky, and nerve wracking, to be in that situation, it is ultimately a judgement you will need to make for yourself, as you best know your parents and how they may react to overtly identifying yourself to them in that way.
The good news, however, is that there are a few options available to you. Most just require patience, and a little understanding from your parent's perspective. Placing yourself into their mindset for a while helps a lot, both in mitigating fear, and in helping you avoid resenting your parents for who they are. (trust me, that is an easy trap to fall into.) The most I can say in regards to deciding what to do, is to trust in your instincts and emotions. if the thought of telling your parents outright frightens you, there may be a cautionary warning in that.
One option would be to start small instead of blurting it all outright. Even in the best of situations it can be a surprise and shock, and sudden information tends to garner sudden reactions without time for thought. If you can avoid putting them on the sudden spot, and give them time to get used to the idea, it would be less of a shock to them. Remember, they know you as you have been for the previous years of your life, so suddenly saying you are wiccan/pagan would be seen as a sudden, dramatic change from the person they already know.
Maybe start with small conversations or ideas. Small things that they might agree with like meditation, the idea of energy working or using crystals and herbs (Things placed by god, if you will) and that sort of thing. it will give you a feel for how they might react to bigger stuff, and you can go from there over the next few months or couple years. The more you can engage them in casual and relaxed discussion the more time they will have to get used to the idea, and also to get used to how magic does not necessarily equate evil. Or even separation from the concept of god.
If worse comes to worse, and it becomes evident that they are unable to accept the idea, then while you live under their roof, it is usually best to live by their rules and avoid conflict. After all, it is only a temporary situation. And once you have reached a point where you can move out on your own, then you can begin once again openly practicing what you want.
One tip though. the worst thing you can do is try to practice behind their backs or secretly. Not necessarily out of any sense of morality, but because parents always find out somehow. stumbling onto a forgotten book, accidentally stepping in on you mid ritual, or just plain putting two and two together from little habits and activities. And in the end it betrays their trust, and that trust, even with parents, is very hard to get back again. In the meantime, you can always tide yourself over by studying things. You can do a lot of stuff regarding magic without working a single spell. Study herbs. Collect and study crystals (just say you like them because they are neat/shiny). And of course research and talk online. There are many, many things you can look into until you are out on your own. Numerology, Astrology, history, folklore on a variety of beings deities and entities.
Even psychology, sociology and philosophy can be very useful fields of study. You can focus your study on the history, psychology, and philosophies of magical practices as a scholastic interest. it is kind of the best of both worlds that way. you aren't actively practicing, which should mollify your parents, but you are still learning useful information that you can then apply to yourself and use later when you are moved out on your own.
I came out of the broom closet a long time ago and some of my family memebers are still wondering what my faith is. I know it could be hard to tell your parents this news which may seem awfull to them, but remeber they will always love you. I first came out was a wiccan, but now here I am a soon to be catholic who practices magick. My mom threw all my wiccan stuff out and I was mad, but that was because she was ignorant of what it actually was. Even though it took a while, a few years to give or take, she still loved me and even became open minded when I wanted to branch off from being an odinary wiccan to a regular pagan. Later, which is today, I came back to my christian roots and even though it was a type of christian she approved of, she gave me a hug and let me join the catholic church down the road. My mom loved me through out the years of me flip flopping to one religion to the next and yes there was a satanic phase and I know that your parents wont resent you, they just resent the stuff that you are doing. If they love you enough, just to let you know, they will soon respect you and your new wiccan faith one day.
