hi, new, satan/lucifer

hi ,i'm new, my name is bastiaan. I wish to learn magick and learn about lucifer/satan. because because i have some kind of deal with him haha. ugh uhm.. im in psychiatry for 4 years almost, lots of suffering/deppression. i rebell against god, i read the bible mostly and i hate that fuck..
so, not in circumstances to perform any rituals but i'd love to talk to some magicians/witches. I'm a good guy. tried to curse some out of depseration.. im sorry, didnt think it worked though.. please teach me. thank you

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