I am currently in a position where I am trying to find a deity to work with in my spellcraft. (Working without one is draining, I almost get lethargic after I cast) I want this to be a very personal relationship. I am currently looking for a spell that one will make himself/herself known to me. I don’t want to pick the deity- I want to deity to pick me. Maybe a dream spell- an invitation to one that will answer. And also when I cast this spell, how to prevent trickster lower vibration beings from being invited. ((I have had issues with demons and sleep paralysis a few months ago- but the house I lived in was haunted and 200 years old) I’ve moved since and no more nightmares or sleep issues) any advice helps- thank you so much
A couple of things right away, if your spellwork is exceptionally draining, look into energy work because it might be you're focusing your energy wrong. Deities can aid in spell casting, but it shouldn't be the primary reason to work with them [you said you want a very personal relationship so I'm guessing you're expecting more than just spells, but deities aren't wish dispensers that give you stuff] Your relationship with a deity also depends on the effort you put forth. And while there are times deities have an eye on you or choose to work with you when you least suspect, in my experience, you approach them [I've worked with tons of deities in my nearly 17 years of practice and only one approached me first]
Ways to connect with a deity:
Research. Research them as well as cultures you are fascinated by and your own heritage. Be sure you aren't appropriating closed practices [no matter how badly you want to, a deity from a closed practice won't work with you. If by some off-chance they do call to you, every example I've heard was because the deity in question wanted to teach you a lesson about respect and you will learn the hard way] If you're interested in Greek, study Greek history, myths, culture, geography, philosophy, you name it. If you're of Scandinavian descent, study Norse mythology.
Know yourself. Ask yourself what you love. Are you a carpenter? Look into deities associated with crafts and skilled trades. Do you enjoy baking? Deities associated with the hearth or food. Have a favourite animal? What deities are associated with that animal?
Be observant. Do you see crows everywhere you go? [this would include things like finding black feathers, hearing them caw, noticing people talking about crows, someone wearing a shirt with a crow, crows in videos] this can be a sign a deity is reaching out to you. Be present and be aware of your surroundings to narrow down what is and isn't signs from a deity. This is also helpful when you reach out to the deity and request a sign. They can also come to you in your dreams or while meditating, so keep a journal on hand to take note of anything you feel is significant. Later, read over your notes and see if there's a pattern.
Once you've found the deity you wish to work with, research ways to connect with them. It's usually as simple as saying hi, but some might require a specific ceremony, ritual, cleansing or offering when you do it.
Thank you so much. I will say when I meant personal- I meant platonic and life long. Like a /partnership- one that can educate and guide. I don’t suspect any relationship with any one as a wish dispenser. That would be very shallow and selfish and that’s not who I am. I have worked with Hecate in the past and also the Christian God and ancestors, even did some with the departed. I guess I’m approaching it in a very western world sense. I’ve done lots of research, but there’s so many opinions about different deities on how things should be done. My aunt (who is Wiccan and raised me into it along with my grandmother and other aunt) works with Hecate, and the green man. My other aunt works with Gaia. So I’m just trying to find one that works so close and intimately with me as ones have done with my aunts. Last night I prayed to the energies Of the divine feminine of the full moon and asked for a high vibrational deity to work with me in spellcraft. Hopefully I was heard. (I will make note that I usually have always worked with Hecate but she doesn’t like my boyfriend. ) thank you so much for your advice. It really do appreciate it.
I see, it still feels like you're approaching this wrong [not wrong in the bad sense, more like climbing the wall with a rope instead of taking the stairs. Both will get you to the top, but one's a little trickier] I get the appeal of having a lifelong companion on your journey, but the harsh reality is, some are here for a moment. You might feel strongly drawn to Freya [as an example] and you beg her to work with you. She might ignore you completely, or another deity might pretend to be her [*cough* Loki *cough*] You might even confuse a deity for another [Freya is "cooler" than Brigit, so you ignore the signs because you want her to be Freya] The saddest lesson I've learned working with deities is some you want to be with you forever were only meant to get you through a season.
When I began with deities, I didn't really treat them respectfully, so I might connect with a deity, but grow bored and switch to someone else [the joys of being young lol] I took a hiatus from my path when I was in my mid-twenties [I still believed, but I had no energy to do any practice] When I finally returned to my path, I wanted a connection like I had years ago with another Goddess, but that's a can of worms, so I started the proper way by researching, soul searching, looking into my ancestry, and eventually I felt drawn to Artio. I introduced myself and the next day she came to me. [Artio is kind of a lesser known Goddess, she's a bear Goddess] I worked with Artio for almost 4 years. She was a very nurturing and encouraging Goddess who didn't mind when I had to take breaks for whatever reason, or I struggled to keep a routine, or I missed a full moon. She was always there to give me a kind words. Then, the Goddess I worked with in my teens returned. She's far stricter and that's why we had a falling out [I didn't deliver on a promise and she said she was leaving and would be back when I was ready] I tried to work with both, but I could feel Artio less and less. She came to me in a meditation one day to say goodbye. Our time together was over and I had to start on my next leg of the journey. I miss her and I still have items dedicated to her in my home, but she's been gone for years. She was meant to help me start on my journey. I wanted her with me forever, but that wasn't why she was there.
You need to accept that nothing's permanent. Even the deities you work with. They also won't be at your beck and call. My Goddess and God aren't around me 24/7. My Goddess comes and goes throughout the year, my God is more active in the darker half of the year, but in spring and early fall he's gone. It doesn't mean they've left me or I upset them, they have things to do. When you find the deity you wish to work with, find a daily devotional. It works better if you weave your practice into your daily life. A morning blessing, a meditation, pouring a cup of tea for them as well as yourself. Things you do daily that you can share with the divine can help you strengthen that bond.
Beautifully written, I must say, you’re a writer. And appreciate your advice as well as your responses.
I understand and I agree with what you’re saying. And can relate. You are 100 percent correct about relationships, human or non, are seasonal. And that’s okay. I also phase in and out with practicing. (Have little time for myself, if any, at all most days. Keeping up with moon phases and rituals is hard ) Thank you so much for your input and will weave it into practice.
I'm kind of coming into this a bite late it seems, and Nekoshema has already offered a great deal of good advise so there isn't much I could add to the topic, other than perhaps a small observation and suggestion.
It seems, over the course of the conversation, that you are looking for a guide. A being/entity that you can connect with who might help you move further down your path. And/or help you learn to connect with and channel the energies around you so you can draw them into your magic-working instead of using your own.
Guides can come in many forms, ... deities, animals, fantastical/supernatural beings, ... Or even formless light or loving (universal/compassionate love) presence. And just as Neko said they too can come and go over time. Though it is not uncommon for one or two 'main' guides to frequently reappear to help you reach different lessons.
Perhaps a more generic guide-calling would help. Something focused on declaring your intent to find/connect/become aware of whatever guides are already around you so you can consciously acknowledge them, and more actively gain help and insight from contemplating their presence.
The key is to be specific in intent (I seek an entity to help me grow and better myself, to help me find and follow my best path) and worry less about looking for what form that guide might take. Quite often people pass right by their guides and teachers without even knowing it because they are looking for something else. Something that will 'match expectations'. ...If you spend your whole day looking for foxes, you will never notice the rabbit at your feet- as it were.
Come to think of it, you may be finding frustrations simply because you are so busy looking and searching you may be forgetting to take some time to sit and to listen. You may already have guides around you offering little nudges and creating little synchronicities that you just haven't noticed. Be still a while. Close your eyes, and observe your thoughts. Follow them and the topics they flow around. Ask yourself some gentle questions, and see if any thoughts not your own might pop in with a sudden question, or phrase, or perspective that changes your thoughts into new directions.
And, finally, if you ever wonder if you are connecting a guide versus some other entity just remind yourself of this;
"The teacher is there to lead you to yourself."
If any entity comes to feel like it is not doing just that, then it is not a guide.
